Bariatric Avocado Toast

I've drunk the Kool-Aid and tried the strange Millennial craze called "Avocado Toast". I like toast... and I like avocado, but honestly, I expected it to be AWFUL. What I found was that was not NEARLY the case. This stuff is GOOD!!!

Now... The only problem is THE TOAST.. Hmmm How can I enjoy this without all the carbs in the crisply toasted white bread.....

In walks Chaundra Evans, Nutritional Counselor extraordinaire. In one of our sessions she gave me a packet of Hemp Hearts. I found them crunchy and delicious. THIS is my toast substitute!!!

This recipe, if I can dare call it that, is super simple - and the PERFECT quick (instant?) breakfast


INSTRUCTIONS

• Slice a perfectly ripe avocado in half. 
• Remove the seed
• Top each half with protein-rich hemp seeds, kosher salt, and some lemon juice

Gobble it up with a spoon.
Yeah, it’s that simple.

Cook's Notes:

• If you really want to amp up the flavor, sprinkle on some of Trader Joe’s  “Everything But the Bagel” seasoning.
• Be careful slicing open an avocado, as a slipped knife will give you a bad case of "Avocado Hand" (and yes - that's a real thing!)

Protein Pimento Cheese

Pimento cheese is a staple at nearly every event in the South, weddings and funerals and baby showers and bar mitzvah's (if we had any) ALWAYS have a big bowl and lot's of "spread-ons".  

Granny used to make all our pimento cheese - then we got all "city-fied" and started buying it in those little plastic containers.  Granny's was always better, but those little tubs are SO convenient. Eventually we forgot how good Granny's was...  sad...

Well, I hate to tell you, but there are things in that little tub that are detrimental to your bariatric eating plan (I read labels) - so...  



Here is a "bariactricided" version of My Granny's Southern Pimento Cheese with added protein.

Now, as Granny would have said, "Git out yer big bowl an' a wood spoon an' foller along."


Ingredients:

3 tablespoons good Mayonnaise (see Cook's Notes)
3 tablespoons Greek yogurt
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
2 teaspoons (sugar equivalent) artificial sweetener
1/2 teaspoon salt and a few grinds of fresh black pepper
1/2 cup Unflavored Whey Protein Isolate
One 6-ounce jar whole pimentos – well drained and diced
8 ounces (REALLY) Sharp Cheddar
pinch cayenne (optional)

Instructions:

• Grate your cheddar with the large holes on a box grater
• Stir the mayonnaise, yogurt, garlic powder, sweetener, salt, pepper, optional cayenne and protein together in a large bowl.
• Stir in the pimentos then fold in the shredded cheddar. 
• Mixture will be a bit hard to stir, but will turn creamier once it melds together in the bowl. - also counts as cardio toward the last gym visit you missed
• Cover and chill.

Serving:

Serve small scoops on top of cucumber rounds or eat a small scoop from a dish – makes a delicious office lunch. - or glob some on top of a hot hamburger patty for true pimento cheese heaven - or make the delicious cheese "crackers" shown in this recipe

Cook's Notes:

• Good mayonnaise doesn't have any sugar in it - if you live in the south, that means "Duke's Real Mayonnaise" - If you live anywhere else, make a good friend in the South!
• A TINY pinch of Cayenne really points up the flavor, or a lot can bring on the heat - use at your own discretion.
• Cheddar cheese pro tip: Buy a pound and grate half. That way you don't knock the skin off your knuckles with the grater!

What's for Dinner?

Those "3 little words" that strike fear into the heart of every one of us every afternoon - and it's even worse when you are a bariatric patient and really WANT to pursue healthy eating for not only yourself, but also your family.  This is going to show you the kinds of healthy and SIMPLE dinners that you and your family can all enjoy.

I have some specialty tools in my kitchen that aid me on my particular culinary journey, but I'm going to assume - probably correctly - that you have only knives, pans and a small but adequate spice rack.

Just to be clear, carbohydrates (hereinafter referred to as carbs) are NOT evil - they simply need to be a very limited part of the post-bariatric eating plan.   The dinner ideas we present here are low carb, high in protein, simple to make and TASTY.

Jalapeno Shrimp Veggie Bake




It's the peak of summer when I write this and all around me, farm stands have the locally grown vegetables stacked and primped for their perennial "closeups". The local shrimpers are at the peak of their season and "freshness" is a feature that I cannot ignore. AND.... This miracle of flavor and freshness will be on the table in under an hour.

INGREDIENTS

16 medium shrimp (peeled, thawed)
2- 3 chopped garlic cloves
One large tomato (sliced 1/3 inch thick)
2 summer yellow squash (sliced 1/4 inch thick)
One jalapeño, sliced and deseeded. Or keep the seeds and veins for extra spice.
1/4 cup onion (sliced or chopped)
1/3 cup Parmesan crumbles
1/2 cup almond flour
1/4 teaspoon each salt and black pepper
1/2 teaspoon chili pepper flakes or seasoning
1 tablespoon softened or melted butter (see below for other options)
1/3 cup cream
Two eggs
Cilantro and additional chili flakes for toppings and garnish

INSTRUCTIONS

First make sure your shrimp is peeled and thawed completely.  You can rinse them in cold running water if needed to get them ready.

Preheat oven to 350 F
Slice all your veggies - I recommend a slicer or mandolin if you have one handy.  If not, a sharp knife is your best friend.

Layer them evenly into a greased or oiled 9 X 13 casserole dish

Place Shrimp on top or mixed within the veggie layers.

In small bowl, mix your eggs, garlic, almond flour, butter, cream, and seasoning.
Pour this evenly over your shrimp and veggie dish. 

Add your Parmesan on top (evenly).

Bake at 350 Fahrenheit for 45 minutes. Depending on your oven, it could be less. Just want to make sure that your shrimp is cooked and your veggies are nice and tender. so be sure to check at 30 minutes just in case.

The top should be lightly brown and crunchy from the parmesan and the eggs should be cooked through.
Remove from oven and top with cilantro
Feel free to season with additional salt-and-pepper and chili flakes as well.

Cook's Notes:

You can use non dairy butter or olive oil if desired but the taste and consistency might be different. Check at around 35 minutes to see if the veggies cook faster.

I chose 16 shrimp as a good starting point.  Of course, you can completely cover the pan if you have a house full of seafood loving carnivores

Zucchini works well in place of yellow squash 

Coconut cream works as a substitute for cream

Notes on consistency- the egg/butter/cream mixture acts as a base almost like a frittata. You will want to make sure that's cooked through as well. If you find the consistency too runny, use less cream or one less egg.

To use coconut flour in place of almond flour. It is in a ratio of 1/4 of the almond flour. So, in this recipe you will use 2 tablespoons coconut flour instead of 1/2 cup almond flour. Add a little extra liquid - coconut flour is DRY

Beef Stroganoff Soup

This is "brown food"..  Brown food doesn't make for pretty pictures - but for sure - brown food tastes good!!

Ingredients:

2 large sirloin steaks (1.75 lb) 
1 lb. brown or white mushrooms 
¼ cup ghee (or butter)
2 cloves garlic, minced 
5 cups Beef bone broth 
2 tsp paprika 
1 tbsp Dijon mustard 
juice from 1 lemon 
1 ½ cup sour cream 
¼ cup fresh chopped parsley 
1 tsp salt 
¼ tsp black pepper 

Instructions: 

• Place steaks in the freezer in a single layer for 30 min. 
• Meanwhile, clean and slice mushrooms. 
• When the steaks are ready, use a sharp knife and slice them across the grain, as thinly as you can. 
• Season with salt and pepper. 
• Grease a large pan with half the ghee.
• Place over Medium High burner. 
• Once sizzling hot, add the beef slices in a single layer.  - DO NOT OVERLOAD - DO NOT CROWD PAN
• Quickly fry until browned from all sides. 
• Remove from pan & set aside for later. 
• Repeat until all meat is cooked.
• Grease the pan with remaining ghee. 
• Saute remaining ingredients except broth & sour cream. 
• Cook for 2-3 min. 
• Add broth. 
• Cook 2 additional minutes. 
• Add the browned beef slices and sour cream. 
• Stir and serve

German Cucumber Salad

German Cucumber Salad is a refreshing summer salad made with simple ingredients that are a staple in most kitchens! This recipe is easy to make, budget-friendly, and perfect for a potluck, family dinner, or summer cookout.

No specialty tools required if you have a REALLY steady hand with a sharp knife, but for consistently thin slices I recommend a mandolin or "Spiralizer"



Ingredients

2 English cucumbers or 4 medium cucumbers
1/2 cup sour cream
1 tbsp white vinegar
1 tsp (equivalent) sweetener
1 tbsp fresh or frozen dill
1 1/2 tsp salt 

pepper to taste




Instructions

• Peel the cucumbers if desired and thinly slice them,  I recommend a a mandoline slicer or "Spiralizer". The thinner the better! 
• Put them in a large salad bowl.
• Sprinkle liberally with the salt - this will make them release a lot of their water and keep the salad from being "soupy".  
• Allow it to sit for 20 to 30 minutes.
• Rinse cucumbers, drain well and return to large bowl.
• In a medium bowl whisk together the sour cream, vinegar, sweetener, and dill. Add salt and pepper to taste.
• Pour dressing over cucumber slices and toss until combined. Cover and let chill in the fridge for at least 4 hours or overnight.
• Serve with a slotted spoon.

Cooks Notes:

You might consider a tiny pinch of cayenne or a small sprinkle of hot sauce

Protein Root Beer Float

Nothing says "cool" like an ice cream float on a lazy hot summer afternoon.  But you and I know better than to pour a bubbly soda over several dollops of sweet creamy vanilla ice cream..   (sigh...)

You know I never leave you with a picture like that in your mind without giving you a bariatric friendly, delicious, and hopefully GOOD for you, substitution!

So..  Break out your blender - we're making a root beer float!

The good folks at Dr. Pepper/7up make a VERY nice collection of Sugar Free flavored drink packets (think Crystal Light) for their entire "Crush" productline, Grape, Orange and Pineapple.  They also offer a VERY refreshing Squirt - and - our hero for today, A&W Root Beer.  They are available online and in MANY Markets.  I first discovered them in WalGreens, then the Dollar Tree and finally I ordered  cases from Amazon!  Watch the pricing - some sellers on Amazon want to PRONG you

All of them are quite tasty in a bottle of water (I prefer a 20 oz instead of the recommended 16.9 oz) for those times when you are just "watered out" and can't face another bottle or glass.

Ingredients:

1 scoop vanilla protein powder
1 packet A&W Root Beer drink mix
2 cups ice cubes
1/3 cup non-fat powdered milk
1 cup water 
Splash heavy whipping cream (optional)

Instructions:

• Place all the ingredients into the blender or food processor bowl
• Blend at highest speed until ice is completely incorporated
• Pour into tall glass and grab a straw or two (only if straws are allowed!)

Cook's Notes:

• You can substitute the powdered milk and water for 8 oz of your favorite milk or milk substitute.  Almond milk is delicious.
• Substitute Orange Crush mix and you get a "Dreamsicle"
• Feel free to experiment!

---dave---

Marinated Cauliflower Antipasto Salad

Here I sit, in the afterglow of my first bowl of this antipasto.  This stuff is REALLY good.  Far better and a LOT cheaper than any I've purchased from the Italian Deli!!


I always thought cauliflower was awful.  Nasty texture - no taste..  UNTIL I found out how versatile it is.  I've seen pizza crusts and mashed faux-tatoes, fried rice and even ice cream made with it.  This may be the place it shines.  There's nothing like a good pickled cauliflower.

This one is a MUST for your summer dinners (or snacks!)

Ingredients:

1 medium head cauliflower, cut into bite sized pieces (4 cups cauliflower pieces)
1 cup marinated mushrooms, sliced
2 oz. salami, cut into short strips
2 oz. Provolone cheese, cut into short strips
6 oz. olives - whatever you like, drained and cut in half
1 jar (12 oz.) roasted red peppers, drained and cut into strips
3 T capers, drained (more or less to taste)


Dressing Ingredients:

1/4 cup vinaigrette dressing
1 T extra virgin olive oil
2 T fresh-squeezed lemon juice
1 T caper juice (from the jar of capers)
1/2 tsp. dried Greek oregano

Instructions:

Cut out the core of the cauliflower and discard

Cut the raw cauliflower into bite sized pieces in a covered bowl 
Add 4 Tbsp water and microwave for 4 minutes on high (may vary - cook to tender-crisp)
Put in a colander and allow to cool.

While the cauliflower drains, whisk together vinaigrette dressing, olive oil, lemon juice, caper juice, and dried oregano to make the dressing. When cauliflower has drained well, put a double layer of paper towels on the counter, spread cauliflower out on the towels and pat dry with more towels. 

Be sure to get the cauliflower as dry as you can get it, or the salad will be watery.

Put the cauliflower in a large bowl and toss with the salami strips, 

Provolone strips, red pepper strips, sliced mushrooms, olives, and capers. 
Dump everything into a large Ziploc bag with the dressing and let it all marinate in the fridge, preferably for 4-6 hours or as long as all day. (Minimum marinating time is 2-3 hours if you don't plan far enough ahead.)   Add more dressing until the salad is as moist as you prefer. (You may not want all the dressing.) 

Season to taste with salt and fresh-ground black pepper and serve.

This salad can be made several hours ahead and will also keep in the fridge for a couple weeks.  It just gets better!

Cook's Notes:

• Instant marinated mushrooms by cutting button mushrooms into bite size pieces, drizzle well with vinaigrette and microwave, covered, on high for 3 minutes 
• Add on's:  Boconcini (little mozzerella balls), Yellow pepper rings, pickled jalapenos, steamed (microwaved) onion petals, <insert imagination here>

DO THIS!!!

Garlic Parmesan Bacon Knots

I am a passionate beef eater.  There is a rare food that I will choose over the opportunity to sink my teeth into a brilliant red succulent steak - unless, of course, it's BACON!!!!

These bacon knots will knock the socks off your guests or provide you with the tastiest snack you can imagine.  The recipe scales perfectly from making one in your toaster over, to making thousands for the Oscar's after party!


Start now..  In 30 minutes you are going to have a DELICIOUS treat!

Ingredients

---

12 slices bacon

1/2 tsp. Italian seasoning

1/2 tsp. garlic powder

1/2 tsp. red pepper flakes

1/4 c. freshly grated Parmesan

Directions

---

1. Preheat oven to 425° 
2. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. 
3. Tie each slice of bacon in a double knot and place on sheet tray. 
4. Season each knot with Italian seasoning, garlic powder and red pepper flakes.
5. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, or until almost crisp. 
6. Remove from oven and grate Parmesan over knots. 
7. Return to oven and bake 6 to 7 minutes more, or until desired crispness is achieved. 
8. Let cool slightly before serving.

Cook's Notes:

• Usually I make some kind of suggestion here  about variations on the theme or ways to achieve a different taste.  Not this time..  These may well be the PERFECT bariatric snack. 
• Store leftovers in the refrigerator.  Allow to come to room temperature or heat gently before serving

Creamy Lentil Soup

My boss caught me working one day a couple months ago and decided they want me to do it all the time, so that cut into my ability to post on a regular basis. BUT.. This one is so good over our chilly weekend that I am taking a moment to share it with you.  Creamy, silken, comforting, rich, delicious....

I love beans - and while lentils aren't REALLY beans, you can treat them the same way. And they are FAST!! 30 minutes for dried lentils and it takes all day to prepare dried beans. And they are SO YUMMY!!!

It's the middle of January as I post this and everyone needs something warm to cuddle around.  It'll comfort your pouch AND your soul.


Ingredients


1 Tbsp Oil
1 cup Chopped Onion
2 tsp minced Garlic about 2 cloves
1 tsp Curry Powder
1/2 tsp Ground Ginger
1/4 tsp Chili Powder
1 can (15 oz) Diced Tomatoes with Juice
1 cup Lentils
1 tsp Salt
3 cups Water
1 cup Greek Yogurt
1 tsp Corn Starch


Instructions

• Heat oil in a medium soup pot over medium heat. 
• Add onion and saute until soft, about 5 minutes. 
• Add garlic and saute until fragrant, 1 – 2 minutes.
•  Add spices and saute until fragrant, 30 – 60 seconds.

• Add tomatoes with juice, lentils, salt, and water to the pot and bring to a simmer. 
• Reduce heat to low and cook at a slow simmer until lentils are soft, about 30 minutes. Stir often.

• Once lentils are soft, remove soup from heat and let cool for 5 minutes. 

• While soup is cooling, whisk together yogurt and corn starch in a medium bowl.
• Add about ½ cup of the soup liquid to the yogurt mixture and whisk until smooth.  This is called "tempering". 
• Gently add the yogurt mixture back into the warm soup, whisking until creamy throughout. 
• Serve.

My Favorite Board Games

I'm not COMPLETELY absorbed in the creation of food.  To prove that I'm sharing a list of my favorite board games.

• Battlechip

• Soups and Ladders

• Settlers of Crouton

• Scramble

• Whisk

• Nomopoly

• Tater Tahtzee

• Pancake Battergories

• Trivial Grapefruit

• Soda Poperation

Christmas Cranberry Salsa

Fresh cranberries are minced up with jalapeno into a healthy, fresh, and vibrant salsa.

Ingredients

12 oz fresh cranberries
¼ cup sliced green onions
2 jalapeños, minced
¼ cup fresh cilantro leaves, minced
2 tablespoons finely grated fresh ginger
2 tablespoons lemon juice
½ cup (equivalent) artificial Sweetner

Instructions

• Rinse, drain, and pick over cranberries, (discarding all that are soft or bruised). 
• Place cranberries in a food processor or blender; pulse until finely chopped but not mushy.
• Place crushed cranberries in a bowl
• Mix together with green onions, jalapeños, cilantro leaves, and ginger. 
• Pour lemon juice and sweetener over and stir together.
• Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate and allow flavors to develop. 
• It will be a bit tart to begin with, but as it is allowed to sit it will develop even more flavor.
• Can be served as a plain salsa, but is amazing served over cream cheese.

Parmesan Tomato Chips

It's approaching the end of "tomato season" here in the south. And once again I prepare to force myself into "tomato abstinence" until those luscious juicy crimson orbs appear again late next spring.


BUT... before they go I want to give them a last hoo-rah and demonstrate how they can go from sweet/tart salad and sandwich fodder to crispy chewy low carb pizza treats. You'll need a cooling rack and sheet pan. I usually do 2 sheet pans at a time - yes, they are that good! And they can be kept in an airtight container and "freshened" in the toaster oven for another snack

           Parmesan Tomato Chips

Ingredients

cooking spray, for cooling rack
15 assorted tomatoes, sliced 1/3" thick
2 tbsp. extra-virgin olive oilkosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
2 tbsp. Italian seasoning
1/2 c. freshly grated Parmesan

Instructions

• Preheat oven to 275º 
• Grease a cooling rack with cooking spray, then place on top of a large baking sheet. 
• On a large, paper towel-lined plate or surface, arrange tomatoes, salt lightly and cover with more paper towel.
• Let them sit for a few minutes while the salt  loosens the juice, then press out juices. 
• Place tomatoes on cooling rack and lightly drizzle with olive oil, then season generously with a little more salt, pepper and Italian seasoning. 
• Bake, checking every 30 minutes, until tomatoes are completely dried out and beginning to crisp, about 3 hours. 
• Remove from oven and turn on broiler. 
• Sprinkle tomatoes with Parmesan, then broil on low shelf until cheese is melted, 1 to 2 minutes. 
• Allow to cool, then remove from cooling rack. 
• Garnish with additional salt, pepper and Italian seasoning, as needed, and serve.

Slow Cooker Rotisserie Chicken

I love rotisserie chicken and OFTEN stop by my local grocer and grab one as the base for whatever I'm thinking about for dinner - and SOMETIMES it's just good to rip off a hunk and stand eating it over the sink (Shh!  Don't tell!)

This recipe lets you get that "fresh from the roaster" taste with your slow-cooker, which is my most indispensable kitchen device.

Ingredients

nonstick cooking spray
2 tbsp garlic powder
1 tbsp chili powder
1 tbsp smoked paprika
1 tsp chopped thyme leaves
kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1 whole chicken, neck and giblets removed

Instructions

• Grease a large slow-cooker with cooking spray. Roll a few small balls of aluminum foil and place on the bottom of the bowl, creating a rack for the chicken.
• In a small bowl, whisk together garlic powder, chili powder, paprika, and thyme. Pat chicken dry with paper towels then season generously with salt and pepper. Rub the garlic mixture all over chicken, then place in the slow cooker, breast side up.
• Cook on high for 2 ½ to 3 ½ hours, until the juices between the leg and the thigh run clear or a thermometer inserted into the thigh reads 165°F. Remove chicken from slow cooker.
• Let rest for 10 minutes before slicing and serving.

Cook's Notes:

• Slow cooker cooking bags are a GREAT way to avoid a lot of cleanup.  I recommend them wholeheartedly.
• To crisp up the skin, transfer chicken to a large baking sheet under a hot broiler until golden and crispy, only 3 to 4 minutes.

Spinach and Artichoke Stuffed Peppers

I've been stuffing peppers for as long as I can remember, They make the perfect vessel for delivering anything that "unaltered" folks might put on a bun like these Italian Street Fair peppers - but they also make a great vehicle for America's favorite party dip!


Ingredients

2 cups shredded rotisserie chicken
1 (14-oz.) can artichoke hearts, drained and chopped
1 (10-oz.) package frozen spinach, thawed, well-drained, and chopped
6 oz. cream cheese, softened
1 1/2 cup shredded mozzarella, divided
1/2 cup grated Parmesan
1/4 cup sour cream
1/4 cup GOOD mayonnaise*
2 cloves garlic, minced

4 assorted bell peppers, halved* and seeded
Extra-virgin olive oil, for drizzling
kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
Chopped fresh parsley, for garnish


Directions

• Preheat oven to 400°. 
• On a large, rimmed baking sheet, place bell peppers cut side-up and drizzle with olive oil, then season with salt and pepper.
• In a large bowl, add chicken, artichoke hearts, spinach, cream cheese, ½ cup mozzarella, Parmesan, sour cream, mayo, and garlic. Season with more salt and pepper and mix until well combined.
• Divide chicken mixture between pepper halves, top with remaining mozzarella, and bake until cheese is melted and gooey and peppers are tender, about 25 minutes.
• Optionally, garnish with parsley and serve.

Cook's Notes:

• Cut your bell peppers from top to bottom, through the stem.  This makes the peppers more like a bowl than a "pot" with a funky stem "lid" the way my Granny prepared them.
• Most cheap mayonnaise has a sugar component, but GOOD mayonnaise (i recommend Duke's in the south) is made without sugar.

Crunchy Bariatric Party Mix

I was at a local WLS support group meeting recently (yes..  almost 7 years out and I still go the the monthly meetings - and LEARN something almost every time!) when one of the members asked "What do you do for CRUNCH?  I miss CRUNCH!"

My initial reaction was to recommend pork rinds, but she needed something more palatable.  So.....  I set my mind to wander (what a scary thought!)

A couple days later I was walking through my local grocery and doing my best to avoid eye contact with the items on the shelves in the snack aisle, when - for no apparent reason - a bag of that famous snack mix made from breakfast cereal fell off the shelf in front of me.  I took it as a sign.  OF COURSE I could make a bariatric version!  All of America already has the seasoning recipe - all I need is a replacement for 3 kinds of square cereal, pretzels and cheese crackers.  Hmmm...  Piece'o'cake!

Ingredients

For the Cheese Crackers

7 slices of Cheddar Cheese cut into 9 small squares each, baked

For the Party Mix

1 5 oz. bag of original flavor pork rinds broken into small pieces
1 cup pecans
½ cup roasted almonds

63 cheese crackers

6 tablespoons butter, melted
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1½ tablespoon seasoning salt
¾ teaspoon garlic powder
½ teaspoon onion powder

Instructions

For the Cheese Crackers

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Cover cookie sheet with parchment paper.
Cut each deli cheese slice in 9 small squares (making 63 crackers)

Bake for 7-9 minutes on top shelf until cheese squares are browned and crispy.
Allow to cool, then break them apart.  Failure to wait for browned and crispy gets you chewy "crackers"

For the Party Mix

Allow oven to cool down to 250 degrees.

Cover cookie sheet with parchment paper.
Combine pork rinds and nuts on parchment paper.

In a measuring cup add melted butter and spices.
Pour over the pork rinds and nut mixture.

Toss until coated.

Bake for 1 hour, stirring every 15 minutes. During the last 15 minutes, add the cheese crackers to the party mix.

Pour party mix onto paper towels on the counter to absorb excess grease.

Store in an airtight container.

Cook's Notes:

• You can use any nuts you want.  I added some cashews and pistachios,
• I learned a lesson though,  Use WHOLE nuts.  I tried slivered almonds and cashew pieces and a lot of them ended up in the loose rubble in the bottom of the bag.  TASTY though!!   
• A good quality cheddar, deli sliced, makes a great cracker.  I also used little piles of Parmesan and some provolone.  They all cook at different speeds so pay attention if you want an assortment.
• You can use BBQ or Spicy HOT pork rinds - adjust the salt
• Don't like Seasoned Salt?  Substitute Cajun spices - some powdered onion soup mix - or open an envelop of ranch dressing powder
• The recipe calls for 63 cheese crackers, why?  Because that is how many little squares you can fit on a standard half sheet pan. - but you can get by on 57 - because I KNOW you are going to eat 6 of them while it's baking!  
• If you JUST want the cheese crackers, I highly recommend them with a tiny sprinkling of cayenne and/or garlic before you bake them.

Add your suggestions and thoughts in the comments below

---dave---

Chocolate Peanut Butter Protein Muffins

Sometimes I get experimental in the kitchen and start combining things that should NEVER go together and end up creating a new dish that I love - or that helps fill the trash...  Sometimes someone sends me a recipe for "Aunt Ethel's Double Dutch Chocolate Birthday Cake" or similar, and asks me if I can make it healthy - and I get lucky and make it work ( I fail more often than I succeed, but you guys never see those!).  And SOMETIMES I come across a recipe that just needs to be shared.  This one fits in the latter category.  

The recipe came from Europe - Germany I believe - and required some conversion from traditional European baking using WEIGHTS of ingredients instead of QUANTITIES.  I'm pretty sure that the vast majority of you would just close your browser and walk away if I told you to add 80 grams of ingredient XXX...  So..  I got out my scales, weighed all the ingredients and converted them to measures.  I DID add the hazelnuts, because...  HAZELNUTS!!!

These little muffins are the perfect 'grab and go' for breakfast or snacks.  They store perfectly in the refrigerator or freezer.  Oh!  and perhaps MOST importantly, they TASTE TERRIFIC!!

Modified from cleanleanbakes.com

Serves: 12 

Ingredients

3/4 cup rolled oats
3 scoops Chocolate Whey Protein (Isolate)
2 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
2 Tbsp peanut butter (crunchy or smooth - your choice)
2 Tbsp (Sugar Equivalent) artificial sweetener
2 Tbsp coconut oil
1/2 cup quark (if you can find it - otherwise see Cook's Notes)
2 large eggs
1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk (or milk of choice)
1/2 oz mini chocolate chips
1/2 oz chopped hazelnuts

Instructions

Preheat oven to 400 F
Grease 12-cup muffin pan, set aside.
In a large bowl combine oats, whey protein powder, baking powder, and salt.
Set aside.

In a medium bowl combine peanut butter, sweetener and oil until well combined.
Add in quark and eggs, stirring gently until combined.
Add in milk, stir again until combined.

Pour wet ingredients into large bowl of dry ingredients.

Use large rubber spatula to gently combine.
Batter will be thick and wet.

(Above are the directions for how you SHOULD mix it..  Honesty here...  I just dumped it all in my Ninja blender and gave it a whirl!)

Evenly distribute batter into greased muffin pan, filling to top.
Garnish with mini chocolate chips and hazelnuts
Bake for 15-18 minutes, until middle is set.
Allow the muffins to cool in pan before transferring to wire rack to cool completely.

Store in airtight container in fridge or freezer for longer periods of time.

Cook's Notes:

• Quark is a German farmer's cheese made without rennet.  It's an excellent replacement for butter in scrambled eggs, cream cheese in cheesecake or served with fresh fruit.  You can often find it in tubs at Trader Joe's or Whole Foods (and other upscale markets)
• Substitutes for 'quark': fromage frais, fromage blanc or marscapone - which is richer - OR - 2 parts ricotta and 1 part sour cream
• I added the hazelnuts to the original recipe, but peanuts or almonds would work beautifully as well
• Learn from my mistake: paper muffin cups recommended

I like to eat these warmed up drizzled with extra peanut (or almond) butter.

Nutrition Facts
Servings: 12
Per Serving	% Daily Value*
Calories 109
Total Fat 6.4g	8%
Saturated Fat 3.2g	16%
Trans Fat 0g
Cholesterol 33mg	12%
Sodium 96mg	4%
Potassium 112mg	2%
Total Carb 5.7g	2%
Dietary Fiber 1.1g	4%
Sugars 0.7g
Protein 8.5g

Bariatric Southern Butter Cake

In the South, when I was growing up, there were 2 hard and fast rules in the kitchen. 1: "Save your bacon grease" and 2: "Use REAL butter and lots of it!"  

My Great Aunt Lula, my maternal grandmother's sister, was a country farm wife and she adhered strongly to those rules.  On the occasions of our visits to Aunt Lula and Uncle Everett, she would often prepare what she called a pound cake - but it was a pound cake unlike any I've since encountered.  It was rich and unctuous and fairly DRIPPING with her homemade hand churned butter.  The good Lord only knows what the contents of that cake were, as I never saw her work from a recipe, it was all in her head.  

Below is my best attempt at replicating it some 50 years later.

Some day, remind me to tell you about Uncle Everette's sense of humor and the electric fence...

 The almond flour already contains a good deal of fat, so I had to play with the proportions in order to incorporate ALL the butter and rich farm eggs I wanted to use.  Thankfully, the absorptive powers of a tiny bit of coconut flour captured all the luscious richness.  

This cake deserves a more elegant title that the mundane (and incorrect) pound cake:  So I give you "Bariatric Southern Butter Cake"

Ingredients

Cake

2 1/2 cups almond flour
1/4 cup coconut flour
1/4 cup unflavored whey protein powder
1 tbsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup butter, softened
1 cup Splenda Granular
5 large eggs
2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
1/2 cup water

Butter Glaze

5 tbsp butter
1/3 cup Splenda Granular
2 tbsp water
1 tsp vanilla extract
Garnish
1 to 2 tbsp Splenda

Instructions

Cake

Preheat oven to 325 F. 
Grease a tubed or bundt cake pan VERY well and then dust with a few tbsp of almond flour.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the almond flour, coconut flour, whey protein, baking powder and salt.
In a large bowl, beat the butter and the sweetener together until light and creamy. 
Beat in the eggs, one at a time and vanilla extract. 
Beat in the almond flour mixture and then beat in the whipping cream and water until well combined.
Transfer the batter to the prepared baking pan and smooth the top. Bake 50 to 60 minutes, until golden brown and the cake is firm to the touch. A tester inserted in the center should come out clean.

Butter Glaze

In a small saucepan over low heat, melt the butter and sweetener together. 
Whisk until well combined.
Whisk in the water and vanilla extract.

While the cake is still warm and in the pan, poke holes all over with a skewer. Pour the glaze over and let cool completely in the pan.
Gently loosen the sides with a knife or thin rubber spatula, then flip out onto a serving platter.
Dust with sweetener.

Serve with lightly sweetened whipped cream and fresh berries.

Cook's Notes:

• You can just as easily make this in an 9 x 13 pan - or even cupcakes, just start checking for doneness at about 20 minutes.  The nice part about these pans is: NO FLIPPING
• You can use Vanilla protein powder, but adjust the vanilla extract to compensate
• I'm playing with sweeteners, so I actually mixed 1/2 Monk Fruit and 1/2 Splenda for all the sweetener above.