Is It Spoiled?

I am a man who truly *LOVES* food. I hold it and marvel at it's beauty, I bite it and exult in it's texture. I chew it and savor the components of it's taste.

I also cook. I'm a cook, not a chef. A chef is just a cook who can swear in French.  But I know that a LOT of my readers AREN'T cooks and you sometimes encounter items that MAY be a bit past their prime.  below is a sure-fire way to answer the age old question: "Is It Spoiled?"

Eggs  When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.

Dairy Products  Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt.
Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese.
Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese.
Regular cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese but you realize you've never purchased that kind.

Bread  Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good indication that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.

Flour  Flour is spoiled if it wiggles.

Canned Goods  Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of carefully.

Carrots  A carrot in which you can tie a clove hitch is not fresh.

Raisins  Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.

Potatoes  Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.

Chip Dip  If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.

Unmarked Items  Generally speaking, plastic containers should not burp when you open them.  You know it is well beyond it’s prime when you're tempted to discard the plastic container along with the food.