I Love Food - Confessions of a Fat Man

I wrote this piece in early 2010 - about a year before my surgery.  It shows where my head was and where I assume a lot of you pre-ops are today.  I hope the insight into my mind helps you deal with the questions and concerns you are having now.

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I have a love affair with food. When I say "food," I mean food. I mean the French bread I tear off in hunks and stuff in my mouth as I run out the door. I mean the brownies a friend bakes for me and which I parcel out in slivers for weeks. I mean the soup, freighted with its nuggets of onion and squash and potatoes, which I spend all afternoon making and whose aroma rises, steaming, toward my face at dinnertime. And when I say "food," I mean too that stuff that foams like endless verbal meringue across the pages of cookbooks and novels and menus. I mean the liberally sprinkled adjectives: "freshly ground," "extra spicy," "braised to perfection." The lingering step-by-steps: "saute until golden," "whisk until light and fluffy," "season to taste." I mean the groaning, page-long tables of Thomas Wolfe, the banquets spread before Odysseus and that wine-blue sea, Levin and Oblonsky's dining, William Carlos William's plums, the catalogs of the young Gargantua's meals, Proust's Madeleine, the Ghost of Christmas Present's puddings and chestnuts and stuffing and cakes, and the fact that Babette spends all her fortune on one supernal meal.  I mean "FOOD."

I love food - and giving it up, or limiting it in any way, is VERY difficult. So I'm having some trepidation as I say goodbye to all my nutritionally unsound friends and move towards my date with a bariatric surgeon.

Shocked?!? You shouldn't be.. I've been the "fat man" for over 30 years - and I'm tired of the sweating, the sore back and knees, the limited wardrobe choices, the diabetes, the high blood pressure... But mostly, I'm tired of the staring... The "Oh God please don't let him sit beside me" looks I get as I push down an airplane aisle. The "why doesn't he order a salad" look when I open a menu.. The "I bet you five bucks he gets dessert" whispers as I finish a restaurant meal. I don't eat dessert - at least not often. A really good creme brulee or cheesecake may tempt me on rare occasion. I don't sneak cookies or candy bars. I actually eat reasonably. I'm just fat - too fat - and now, dangerously fat, so I have to do something about it.

My dieting story is like nearly everyone else. Lose 20 pounds - gain 25, lose 30 - gain 40. I have no choice but to try another tack - something drastic..

Bariatric surgery isn't a "get out of fat free card" - far from it. What it does is give me one, and only one, "do-over" so I can make the right choices and learn to eat the right foods to stay healthy and slim.

The road from here to there isn't an easy one. In the next few months I'll be preparing for the surgery, both mentally and physically. After the surgery my meals will amount to the total size of a single small dinner roll, but I'll rarely eat bread - and never another grain of sugar, so goodbye to pumpernickel rye and southern sweet tea. The nutrition I'll no longer be able to eat will come from vitamins and supplements. I'll eat almost exclusively protein for the next 2 years or more - maybe I'll eat that way forever..

I'll always be aware of the closest restroom, as a shortened digestive tract is almost certainly a recipe for disaster if I eat the wrong, or too much, food.

The skin on my body won't shrink as the fat dissolves under it. It will hang loosely about me. I'll be spending hours in a gym, but no amount of exercise will make that skin retract. I eventually face additional surgeries to remove the excess skin from my face, arms, stomach and thighs. No, bariatric surgery isn't exactly a "get out of fat free card".

So.. why am I doing it? It's because I'm a very selfish man. Food, as much as I love it, loves me too much. It's killing me. The fat is surrounding my heart and invading my veins. It interrupts my sleep and makes it difficult to breathe. I want to play with my eventual grandchildren, not just sit in a chair and watch, but actually run with them. I want to walk again on the beach at sunrise, not sit in the car in a parking lot just to listen to the surf. I want to walk onto an airplane and sit comfortably in a middle seat - and no one notice me. I want to grow old with and take care of the woman I love.

I'm twice the man I used to be, and I look forward to being half the man I am now. I just don't want to be the fat man any longer. There are plenty of candidates in America today who can take over that position so I won't be missed.

Pork and Cabbage Casserole

As the cold weather encroaches I begin to crave those central European comfort foods that my ancestors loved. Making stuffed cabbage is difficult and time consuming, but this is just as tasty and WAY simpler! It's more of a pork and cabbage lasagne.

Pork and Cabbage Casserole

Nutrition Facts
Servings 6

Amount Per Serving
Calories 306
Total Fat 15.8g
Saturated Fat 5.1g
Cholesterol 90mg
Sodium 151mg
Total Carbohydrates 6.3g
Dietary Fiber 2.3g
Sugars 3.3g
Protein 33.7g


1 small head cabbage, about 1 lb
2 Tbs vegetable oil
1 onions, chopped
1 1/2 lbs lean pork, in 3/4 inch cubes
1/2 cup chicken stock
1 tsp caraway seeds
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
6 slices bacon, cut in half

Cook the whole cabbage in a large pot of boiling water for 10
minutes.

Peel off 12 of the outer leaves, set aside, and chop
the remaining cabbage.

Heat the oil in a large skillet over moderate heat and saute the onions until tender but not brown, about 5 minutes.

Add the pork and cook until lightly browned.

Add the chopped cabbage, stock, caraway seeds, salt, and pepper and simmer covered for 10 minutes.

Line a greased 9X13 baking dish with half the cabbage leaves, removing the ribs if
necessary to make them lie flat.

Add the pork mixture and top with the remaining cabbage leaves.

Arrange the bacon slices on top and bake in a preheated 350F oven for 45 minutes. 

Allow to rest 10 minutes before slicing

Cook's Notes:

• You can use the traditional method of boiling the whole cabbage to tenderize the leaves as I have indicated in this recipe, or you can employ the more modern method of freezing the cabbage to accomplish the same thing.

Spinach and Sausage Quiche

So much for the myth that a quiche is a light, dainty snack for the "ladies who lunch" crowd. This quiche rolls up its sleeves and gets dirty. This quiche is a MEAL. 

Spinach and Sausage Quiche

Nutrition Facts

Servings 6
Amount Per Serving
Calories 307
Total Fat 24.4g
Saturated Fat 11.2g
Trans Fat 0.1g
Cholesterol 149mg
Sodium 484mg
Total Carbohydrates 5.1g
Dietary Fiber 0.9g
Sugars 0.7g
Protein 17.1g


8 oz bulk pork sausage
4 scallions (spring onions), green and white parts, thinly sliced
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
6 oz fresh spinach or frozen spinach, thawed, drained, and squeezed dry
1 1/2 cup shredded Monterrey Jack cheese
3 eggs
1 1/2 cups half-and-half or milk
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Cook the sausage, scallions, and garlic in a skillet, stirring to break up the sausage, until the sausage is browned and the scallions are tender but not browned, about 10 minutes.
Stir in the spinach.
Sprinkle the Monterrey Jack cheese into a 9 inch pie pan and add the sausage mixture.
Whisk together the eggs, half-and-half, salt, and pepper and pour over the sausage mixture.
Sprinkle with the Parmesan and bake in a preheated 350 F oven until the top is golden brown and a knife inserted in the center comes out clean, about 40 minutes.

Let stand for 10 minutes before serving.

Cook's Notes: 

• Like all my quiche recipes, I made this one without a crust, but if you want to pour this into a standard 9 inch pie shell it makes a beautiful presentation. 
• I am not averse to dropping a handful of crumbled bacon into any quiche recipe (or most any OTHER recipe!) 
• Of course you can substitute turkey sausage - or even that hideous veggy-sausage stuff if you must...

Salmon Quiche

If there are still some men in your life who won't eat quiche, you can call this a salmon and egg pie.

Salmon Quiche

2 Tbs butter
1 shallot (or tiny onion), finely chopped
1 lb flaked canned salmon, skin and bones removed
3 Tbs chopped fresh dill
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
4 eggs, lightly beaten
1 1/4 cup half-and-half, or milk

Melt the butter in a skillet over moderate heat and saute the shallot until tender but not brown, about 5 minutes.
Add the salmon, dill, salt, and pepper and transfer to a greased 9 inch pie pan.
Combine the eggs and cream and pour over the salmon mixture.
Bake in a preheated 375 F oven for 35 to 40 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Allow to rest for 15 minutes before slicing.

Cook's Notes: If you have some left over salmon this is a great way to use it up, but it's hard to beat the convenience of opening a can.

Roasted Cauliflower Sformato

A sformato is a savory custard like pudding. You can make it in a ring mold, a gratin dish or in individual ramekins for a dinner party. 

Any vegetable works, especially zucchini and spinach. It's like making a quiche, really. A traditional Italian sformato uses boiled vegetables, but I prefer the depth of flavor from roasted vegetables.

These are sensational. They make a lovely presentation, and taste good warm or cold. You can make them the day before, then reheat them in a water bath to loosen them out of the ramekins.

I did not use butter in my recipe, I sprayed the ramekins with nonstick cooking spray.


Roasted Cauliflower Sformato

(makes 4 small ramekins or 8 x 10 gratin dish)

1/2 head of leftover roasted cauliflower (recipe below)
2 eggs
1 cup of milk
2 tbsp flour
1/4 cup grated Parmigiano Reggiano
pinch of salt & pepper
pinch of nutmeg

Mash the cooked cauliflower in the bowl until desired consistency (I like mine chunky).
Add the eggs, milk and flour and beat together with the cauliflower.
Add the cheese, salt & pepper, and nutmeg.
Spray 6 oz. ramekins or gratin dish with PAM (or grease with butter), and pour in the mixture.

Place the ramekins in a roasting pan and carefully pour water up near the tops of the ramekins, to create a bain-marie (hot water bath). The water will prevent the mixture from forming into a cake, and will be a custard instead.

Bake in a 350F oven for about 35-40 minutes.
CAREFULLY remove the ramekins from the hot water bath and cool for 10 minutes before inverting onto plates.

It is actually prettier if you leave the darker side up, but then it isn't a pudding, more like a souffle. I'll leave it up to you (or down!).

Cook's Notes: You can drizzle tomato sauce or pesto on top for some color, but these were perfect on their own!

Roasted Cauliflower 

Cauliflower is the most misunderstood vegetable in the U.S.
It's kind of ugly to begin with and it seems that the only way I ate it growing up was choking on it boiled, or with a canned cheese sauce. Kill me now.

In Italy it seems to be a popular and highly respected vegetable.
The Italians know how to make me love this vegetable.

During the winter months, I roast cauliflower weekly at 400F with just some kosher salt and olive oil. It becomes sweet and nutty.   Sort of like me.

For an extra treat, after taking the baking sheet out of the oven, throw in some capers, a dash of red pepper flakes and grated Parmesan cheese. 

Ham and Faux-tato Casserole

No Picture!  It disappeared too fast!

I bought a couple huge hams at a ridiculous sale price knowing that I could trim out the bones and break them down for several meals.  After I packaged the slices and the remaining sizable chunks for freezing, I had a lot of good meat in "scrap" sizes.  I remembered my grandmother used to make a Ham and Potato Casserole when I was young, so I decided I'd resurrect it as a Low Carb dinner treat - meaning...  no potatoes - but I've been doing this long enough to know that cauliflower is the PERFECT potato substitute for most recipes.

Cheesy, gooey, satisfying - this is a splendid recipe for that left-over Christmas Ham!  

Serves 4

Ingredients

2-3 cups shredded cheddar cheese
1 pound cauliflower
1/2 medium onion, chopped 

4 ounces cream cheese (softened)
1/4 cup sour cream (or Greek yogurt)
1/4 cup heavy cream

1 large egg, beaten
1 cup diced ham
salt & pepper

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350º F

Saute or microwave onion until tender.
Cook the cauliflower and drain it well.
Rough chop the cauliflower to match the ham dices
Grease an 8X8 casserole dish.

Mix 1 cup of the cheddar cheese with the remaining ingredients in the dish until well combined
Cover with remaining cheese.
Bake for 35-45 minutes until bubbly and browned.

Allow to sit for 5 to 10 minutes before serving

Cook's Notes:

• I recommend a nice sharp cheddar, but use what you have on hand.
• I prefer frozen cauliflower.  Just vent the one pound  bag and microwave on high for 6 minutes, flipping the bag half way through
• Be sure to grease your casserole dish - unless, of course, you PREFER to spend the evening scraping cheese from it!
• Want a crunchy top crust? Sprinkle liberally with grated Parmesan cheese before baking (the stuff in the green can works!)
• If you've got a few strips of left-over bacon (yeah, right!) you can chop it into the mix as well.

'Twas the night before surgery

'Twas the night before surgery,
when all through my gut
not a morsel was stirring,
not even a nut.

The suitcase was packed
by the back door with care,
in hopes that a new me
would soon return there.

I lay nestled, all snug in my bed
while visions of calories
danced in my head;

And me in my plus size
pajamas and wrap,
had just settled in
for a long restless nap.

When deep in my mind
there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my dreams
to see what was the matter.

Away to my fridge
I flew like a flash,
ripped open the door
and drooled at the stash.

The moonlight reflecting
off the beautiful snacks
gave a luster of radiance
to all on the racks.

When, what to my
wondering eyes should appear,
but an array of the comfort foods
I hold so dear.

With a familiar feeling
of all those I'd pick,
I thought in a moment
I just might be sick.

More lovely than angels
their voices they came,
and they whistled and shouted
and called me by name;

"Now pizza, now french fries,
now chocolate galore
on cheescake, on ice cream,
on doughnuts and more!"

From the tip of my tongue,
to the end of my toe,
I will miss you all more
than ever you'll know.

As an addict that shakes
and stirs as he sits,
I'll mourn the loss
of these delectable bits.

So back to my bed
I went with great haste,
and settled back down
with nary a taste.

And then in an instant,
in pre-op I sat,
nervously waiting
to no longer be fat.

As I sat deep in thought
and adjusted my gown,
in came my surgeon
in one single bound.

He was dressed all in scrubs,
from his head to his feet
and he seemed very calm
as he eyed me like meat.

He looked at my chart,
with his scope gave a listen;
I don't think he noticed
my eyes start to glisten.

He was chubby and plump
he could lose some himself,
and I laughed when I saw him
in spite of myself.

A wink of his eye
and a twist of his head,
soon gave me to know
I had nothing to dread.

He spoke barely a word
as he prepped for his work,
he paused for a moment,
then turned with a jerk.

And laying a finger
aside of his face,
and giving a nod,
from the room he did race.

He checked in the next day,
to his students gave a whistle,
and away they all flew
like a down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim
as he walked out of sight,
"speedy thinness to you
and a healthier life!"

Almond Thumbprint cookies

They have these cute little cookies with jam filled centers at my local grocer. I looked at them fondly as I walked by the display, then a magical word hit me "frangipane!!I" - it's a sweet almond paste that I can whip up with no trouble -and I bet it makes AWESOME cookies! That's a bet I won! Here's how you do it!


Makes about 30 cookies

Ingredients:
2 cups almond meal (or ground almonds)
2 large eggs
1/2 tsp almond (or vanilla) extract
2 tbsp flour
8 tbsp melted butter
2 cups Splenda Granular (or equivalent sweetener of choice)


Sugar Free Preserves (for centers)

• In a large bowl, mix all the ingredients except the preserves/jelly, unril completely combined.
• Wrap in plastic wrap
• Chill completely - at least 1 hour in the refrigerator - preferably overnight
• Preheat oven to 350 F
• Form cookies.  I used a small cookie scoop for uniform size and pressed the balls out with a fork for the cross hatch design
• Using your finger or thumb, make a depression in the middle of each cookie
• Microwave a small quantity of preserves or jelly and use a spoon to drizzle into the depressions.
• Bake at 350 10-14 minutes util bottoms and edges begin to brown
• Allow to cool completely (if you can wait that long!)

Cook's Notes:
Store in a sealed container. Best if eaten within 3 days (that's how long until they were all gone at my house!)
I used Smucker's Sugar Free Strawberry Jelly, but the apricot and orange marmalade are equally delicious. Experiment!

Buttermilk Roasted Chicken

Without a doubt, the very best part of fried chicken is the battered, seasoned, gold-tinged and impossibly crispy exterior - too bad that it is a no-no for us to eat it. But, as far as I’m concerned, the tender chicken within is no distant second. My grandmother's southern fried chicken recipe had you soak the uncooked chicken in a brine of buttermilk and seasonings for at least a day, resulting in meat that was decadently tasty and tender long before it hit the cast iron frying pan. Why shouldn't we have that decadence without all the grease and carbs?

This is what I thought when I stumbled on an old recipe four weeks ago -- and for three of them, I sat at my desk staring at my computer screen, editing away. Dreaming mostly of the buttermilk chicken I would finally make when I was done. The recipe turned out to be a good place to start, but I wanted more — a longer soak, more salt, less oil, more garlic and, for some reason, I felt the recipe was itching for paprika. So, I went another round with it — finishing it with a drizzle of olive oil and sprinkle more of paprika and coarse salt before roasting it — and this, at last, was the buttermilk chicken I had dreamed about.

Despite the day-long soaking time — and trust me, the difference between a two-hour soak and a day-long one is TREMENDOUS. Tremendous enough that I implore you to hold out for it — this recipe is a cinch, and totally fits my other side project: getting a relatively hassle-free, wholesome dinner on the table as many nights a week as possible. It takes five minutes to throw together the buttermilk brine the evening before, and (with legs, at least) just 30 minutes to roast. In that time, you can toss a salad or roast another vegetable and later watch in awe as your family inhales this luscious chicken. Needless to say, I plan to make a habit of this recipe - and I think Granny would be proud.



Buttermilk Roast Chicken


Nutrition Facts
Serving Size 178g (about 6 oz)

Amount Per Serving
Calories 242
Total Fat 4.8g
Saturated Fat 1.4g
Cholesterol 117mg
Sodium 1280mg
Total Carbohydrates 2.1g
Sugars 1.1g
Protein 44.7g


2 cups buttermilk
5 garlic cloves, peeled and smashed
1 tablespoon table salt
1 tablespoon granulated Splenda
1 1/2 teaspoons paprika, plus extra for sprinkling (I used Hungarian, a smoked one would also be delicious)
Lots of freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon of your favorite hot sauce (or to taste)
2 pounds chicken parts (I prefer dark meat)
Drizzle of olive oil
Flaked or coarse salt, to finish

Whisk buttermilk with garlic, table salt, Splenda, hot sauce, paprika and lots of freshly ground black pepper in a bowl. Place chicken parts in a gallon-sized freezer bag (or lidded container) and pour buttermilk brine over them, then swish it around so that all parts are covered. Refrigerate for at least 2 but preferably 24 and up to 48 hours. More is BETTER!

When ready to roast, preheat oven to 425 degrees.
Line a baking dish with foil (not absolutely necessary, but I never mind having a dish that cleans up easily).
Remove chicken from buttermilk brine and arrange in dish.
Drizzle lightly with olive oil, then sprinkle with additional paprika and sea salt to taste.
Roast for 30 minutes (for legs, thighs and wings; approximately 35 to 40 for breasts), until brown and a bit scorched in spots.

Serve immediately.

Cook's Notes: 

• This same method works remarkably well with thick sliced pork loin or pork chops

Bacon Poblano Chicken Rollups

You take a bite and crunch through the crispy bacon coating to find a smoked paprika and cumin rub on the outside of a succulent tender chicken breast, with a fire-roasted poblano and cream cheese mixture rolled inside. Spicy, smoky, creamy, rich perfection with a super low carb count.

SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to assume that you know how to butterfly a chicken breast - if not you can substitute pre-sliced chicken (or turkey) cutlets from your grocer's meat case.

To roast the poblano peppers, place the poblano on a fork and hold over a gas flame until it is blistered and blacked all over. If you don’t have a gas stove you can do the same thing with a plumber’s torch. They are super cheap at the hardware store and last much longer than the fancy-schmancy ones at cooking stores. You can also broil it but you’ll need to watch it carefully. You want it to blister not to ignite!

Ingredients

3 Boneless chicken breasts, butterflied and cut to make 6
2 Poblano peppers
6 tablespoons of cream cheese (at room temperature)
3 tablespoons finely grated cheddar cheese
6 slices of bacon

Rub

1 tablespoon smoked paprika
1 teaspoon of cumin
1/2 teaspoon of chipotle powder
1/2 teaspoon of Kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon of garlic
Pinch of sugar free sweetener if desired

Instructions

Prep

Preheat your oven to 350 F
Pound the chicken breasts between 2 pieces of parchment until they are thin - Set aside.

Blacken the poblano pepper over an open flame until the skin blisters and peels.
Place inside a plastic bag and seal. Allow to cool.
Rub the blistered skin off.
Slice in 6 slices - Set aside.

Mix the cream cheese and cheddar - Set aside.

Assembly
Lay one of the chicken breasts out on parchment paper.
Lay a slice of poblano on the top.
Spoon a little of the cream cheese mixture on top.
Roll up carefully.
Sprinkle or rub liberally with the spice mixture.
Wrap the bacon around the rolled chicken breast. It should stick -  but if it doesn't secure it with a toothpick.
Repeat with the rest of the ingredients.

Bake
Bake at 350F for about 20 minutes, or until chicken registers 160F on a meat thermometer.
Let stand 5 minutes.

Remove toothpicks before serving

Why I Can't Support Premier Protein Shakes

At virtually every bariatric support group meeting that I attend, there is a discussion about Premier Protein Shakes and how everyone "just loves them." I'm neither a doctor nor a nutritionist, but a long time ago I was taught to read the labels for a look at what was TRULY inside the product I was about to consume - PARTICULARLY my protein. I don't think anyone is doing that anymore. I sit quietly (VERY difficult for me!!) and think, "Well, at least they are getting SOME protein"

But that's not my job. I'm an influencer in those groups and I have a responsibility to be careful about what I endorse - and silence IS an endorsement. So I'm speaking out so you are aware that what we are (silently) endorsing may NOT be the "premier" product everyone thinks it is.

Below is the Nutrition Label from a Premier Protein Chocolate Shake.  Notice the circled INGREDIENTS section in the upper right corner

It case it's not legible, or no longer attached,  it reads:

INGREDIENTS: Water, PREMIER 

NUTRITION PROTEIN BLEND (Milk Protein

 [Milk Protein Concentrate, Milk Protein

Isolate], Calcium Caseinate, Whey Protein 

Concentrate) 

Then on to other items,,

No where on that label does it say "100% Whey Isolate, "  and the only mention of whey is "Whey Concentrate", which is an inferior product.  You can go here to see the difference.  The label may say "30 Grams of Protein", but for the bariatric patient something less than 6 grams of that can actually be absorbed.

There are numerous sites on the internet that compare the kinds of protein, but one thing is always clear, 100% whey isolate protein is ALWAYS the easiest and fastest to digest - and when you are dealing with a malabsorptive gastrointestinal system, you want something that dissolves into your system quickly and easily. .

I selected Premier as an example because it's SO visible in our group, but the same is true for ANY food product, medicine or vitamin that you rely on to maintain your health.  You HAVE to know what is going into your body is the best thing for it.  We all stumble, but we should never be fooled.

---dave---

Almond Pudding Cake

Cake....  Uhmmmmm..  Luscious soft vanilla cake, still warm from the oven, covered in fresh berries and a dollop of REAL whipped cream with a mint sprig on top.  Can't you just smell the wonderfulness of it?

That WAS the picture I was going to post here, but the cake disappeared before I could get the camera set up!

This is good.  This is REALLY good.  This is now my go-to Bariatric Birthday Cake

8.7 Grams Protein

2.7 Grams Effective Carbs

Preheat oven to 350 F

1 cup butter, softened
1 cup Splenda Granular
5 eggs, large
2 cups almond flour

1 small pkg Sugar Free Vanilla pudding mix
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 tsp vanilla extract

Have ALL ingredients and utensils at room temperature!!

In your mixer bowl, cream the butter and Splenda until it is fluffy and turns light yellow. 

Add eggs - one at a time - completely incorporating each before the next. 

Whisk almond flour and SF pudding mix with baking powder in another bowl

Add dry mix to wet mixture a little at a time while beating. 

Add vanilla extract and stir well

Scrape into greased 9"-10" Springform pan (or 9" round cake pan) 

Bake at 350 degrees F for 50-55 minutes until toothpick inserted near the middle comes out clean.

Allow to cool - some..  Slice and serve

Cook's Notes:

This is a great base for any flavor cake.  

• Substitute lemon extract for half the vanilla extract and use lemon pudding - Lemon Cake!
• Poke it full of holes and pour hot SF Lemon Jell-0 over the top!
• Toss in a handful of chopped pistachios (or any nut) and a package of SF pistachio pudding mix (and few drops of green food coloring for effect)

More ideas?  Post them in the comments below!

Chicago Deep Dish Pizza Quiche

I repost this occasionally because new readers freak at the thought of giving up pizza and no one will scroll all the way back to the original post..  

Do you want the heft/flavor of a great Chicago Deep Dish pizza, but avoid the carbs? Try this DELICIOUS carb-haters version



Nutritional Values (not including toppings)

Calories 238
Total Fat 17.9g
Saturated Fat 10.7g
Cholesterol 118mg
Sodium 367mg
Total Carbohydrates 3.6g
Sugars 0.8g
Protein 15.7g


Quiche Crust4 oz cream cheese
3 eggs
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese
1/3 cup heavy cream
1/2 teaspoon oregano
3 cups shredded mozzarella
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 cup low sugar pizza sauce
Whatever pizza toppings you like

Beat cream cheese and eggs until smooth.
Add heavy cream, Parmesan and spices. Mix well.
Spray 13x9 pan with Pam
Place 2 cups shredded mozzarella in pan and mix in the egg mixture
Bake at 375F for 30-40 min then cool for 5 minutes.

Toppings
Spread with sauce and sprinkle on remaining mozzarella
Add toppings 
Bake an additional 10 min in 375F oven.

Serves 8

Cooks Note: Additional toppings could include, pepperoni, cooked Italian sausage crumbles, steamed or blanched bell pepper slices, pepperoncini, deli ham, sauteed onions and/or mushrooms - thinly sliced, artichoke hearts, green and/or black olives, etc...

Make a 1/2 recipe in an 8X8 pan to serve a family of 4

Dirty Quinoa

In traveling for my job I spent some time (not NEARLY ENOUGH) in the great state of Louisiana, between the cities of "Nawlins" and "Baton Rouge"  - and yes, I pronounce it with the Cajun/French accent. The food there is heavenly, but it's a very "rice enhanced" diet.  To have Étouffée or Jambalaya without a scoop of rice is sacrilege!  But my craving was for real "dirty rice"..  The kind you get a spicy, meaty pile of on your plate in the "meat and 3" you stopped in on the side of the road as you wander through the lowland on your daily excursions.

Of course, I'm not going to ask you to eat carby rice, so I go to my favorite "rice replacement", protein rich quinoa. (pronounced KEEN-wa)

There are those of you who are probably not chicken livers fans.  The original recipes that I fell in love with all feature them - BUT...  you can double up on the sausage if you choose to give the livers a pass.

This recipe makes a LOT! - but it refrigertes and freezes well

1 lb chicken livers, finely chopped
1 lb tube GOOD pork sausage
3 tbsp vegetable oil
1 cup onion, finely chopped
1/2 cup celery, finely chopped
1/2 cup green and/or red bell pepper, finely chopped
1 tsp crushed red pepper (to taste)

4 cups cooked quinoa 

Cook the quinoa by package directions.  I recommend cooking it in a good rich chicken or vegetable stock to add flavor.

Cook the sausage and chicken livers in a large skillet with 2 tbsp vegetable oil until browned - 8 to 10 minutes. 

Add the remaining oil and the vegetables and sauté until soft. 

Gently fold in crushed red pepper and the quinoa. 

Cook for 1 to 2 minutes to heat through.

Season to taste with salt and pepper

Cook's Notes:

• If you opted out of the chicken livers you can use 2 pounds of bulk sausage - mild or spicy as matches your taste - you can even use ground beef if you want, but you'll miss out on that "porky goodness."
• Parsley..  I'm not a fan of parsley as I grew up with it being a plate decoration in cheap diners, but you can add a 1/4 cup finely chopped parsley at the end if you so desire.
• Crushed red pepper is optional.  I use a mild pork sausage and kick it up with the pepper - but if you yours on the "mild side", by all means use less - or none at all.
• Cauliflower makes another great rice substitution.  You can get directions in my Cauliflower Rice Pudding recipe.

Questions?  You can always reach me via the Comments section or email me

English Muffins

Dark toasted muffin with a smear of fresh
whipped country butter and a
cross section to show texture

Yes..  It's true..  I've been obsessed with bread recently.  You see..  I've slipped..  I've let   carbs come sliding back into my diet, into my pouch and they are taking up residence around my waist - and it's ALL the fault of that demon, BREAD!!!  Life and work have been hectic and I've taken to allowing myself to make a quick sandwich at lunch and grabbing something takeout (and wrapped in bread) for dinner.  Well...  NO MORE!!!

Today we're going to make a wonderful, fluffy English Muffin with the texture and flavor of a rich dense whole wheat bread.  I made mine in a small cereal bowl (since I have no OTHER use for them!) so it had the right shape to be used as a muffin or a bun.  You can use something with straight sides if you like - perhaps an 8 oz ramekin.

Toasted, it reminds me a of an English muffin or bagel.  Untoasted, it's the perfect platform for the BLT with extra mayo I've been craving!!

Ingredients

2 tbsp unsweetened cashew, almond or peanut butter
1 tbsp butter (or coconut oil)
2 tbsp almond flour
1/8 tsp salt (scant pinch)
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp Buttermilk Blend (optional - see notes)
1 tbsp milk (cow, soy, almond, moose... whatever)
1 egg, beaten

Instructions

Spray the bowl you are using with cooking spray or rub well with oil.

Add the nut butter and butter to a microwave safe dish.  Microwave for 30 seconds and mix until smooth. Set aside to cool.

In another small bowl whisk the almond flour, salt and baking powder together.

Add the nut butter mixture, milk and egg into the dry ingredients and stir until combined.

Pour this mixture into the oiled bowl.

Microwave on high for 2 minutes.

Allow to cool a few minutes before taking
it out of the bowl

Slice in half to toast.

Toast as desired desired.
YES!!  I like mine DARK!

Cook's Notes:

• The "Buttermilk Blend" mentioned above is a dried buttermilk powder, available on the baking aisle in almost any market.  It adds a hint of that buttermilk "twang" to the flavor, but more importantly, it adds a bit of "lift" and lightens the texture.  I made one without it originally and found it a little too dense for my taste.  If you want to make one without the Buttermilk Blend, you might consider adding another 1/4 tsp of baking powder to the mix.
• Try adding a small quantity of sunflower kernels and/or flax seeds or other seeds and ground nuts to the mixture
• Add your favorite sweetener and a pinch of cinnamon - stir in some raisins - have a ball!

Bread Sticks

I hear it from every reader and at every support group meeting. "I miss BREAD!" - there's really no need for that, with these delicious bread sticks. They go great with a meal – or make a great  snack.  For those times when you’re craving something salty, cheesy, crisp on the outside and soft in the middle.

This recipe makes a LOT of product, so it’s best to separate it into fourths, and bake about 1/4 of the dough at a time. The rest will keep in the refrigerator for a LONG time (not that mine lasts that long in there before use...) and you can cook up fresh low carb bread products as needed.

Ingredients

1 8 ounce bag good quality shredded Parmesan cheese
1 cup almond meal (flour)
1 large (or 2 small) egg(s)
2 Tablespoons melted butter
Optional: granulated garlic to taste

Preheat oven to 350 F
Mix ingredients well and chill. 

Roll small portions into a ball and then form into cheese sticks. 

Bake on parchment lined sheet pan for 10 minutes, turning after 5 minutes or as necessary.

Cook's Notes:

• I make my bread sticks flat on top so I can turn them over to to get crisp and brown on both sides
• Make one "bread stick" the size of a bread slice or bun, then cut it open and stuff with sandwich fixings, like ciabatta or focaccia!
• Make it larger and use it for a pizza crust!
• Every oven is different, so your cooking time may vary.  Watch them!  They smell AWFUL if they burn!  

Sour Cream and Chive Crackers

I've gone herb crazy this spring.  I decided to attempt to grown my own and get away from the expensive little bundles in the local market.  Starting with single pots of parsley, basil, rosemary, thyme and chives (Sounds oddly like a Simon and Garfunkel song...) I have been rooting and replanting cuttings and now have several large urns, full of herbs, sitting by the railing on my sunny back deck.  One of them is FULL of chives, and requires daily pruning.  Trust me..  fresh chives, or any herbs, in scrambled eggs is a delicious way to start your day!

But today it's about ANOTHER craving..  CRUNCH!  I want some CRUNCH!  And although pork rinds go a LONG way towards satisfying that need, some real CRACKERS would be delicious.

Ingredients

2 cups almond flour
A hand full of fresh chives
2.5 oz sour cream
1 tsp (or to taste) salt
1/2 tsp garlic powder


Instructions

Preheat the oven to 250 °F (low oven to cook them slowly)

Chop the chives into small pieces.
In a medium bowl, mix all the ingredients by hand. 

Knead for about 30 seconds or until smooth.

Place the dough on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. 

Place another parchment paper on the dough. 

Using a rolling pin, roll the dough between the two parchment papers as thin as you can.

Remove the topmost parchment paper.

Cut the dough with a knife or pizza cutter into squares (or your favorite shapes)

Bake for 50–60 minutes. Check frequently so that the crackers don’t get too dark or burn.

Cool completely and break into squares.

Cook's Notes:

• This is a simple dough, made from almond flour and sour cream.  All the other ingredients are simply for flavor.  If you don't have an urn full of chives on your deck, you can use taco seasoning..  or the powder out of those blue mac&cheese boxes..  or basil and sundried tomato...  Your imagination is your only boundary!
• The edges MIGHT be thinner and cook faster, so be prepared to remove them while the middle continues to bake.  Rolling pin skills come in handy.

Prosciutto Wrapped Egg Rolls

Egg Rolls!  EVERYBODY loves them!  They are also perfect for emptying out those leftover containers in the fridge at the end of the week.  The downside is that they are high in carbs from the wanton wrappers and it's just a greasy mess to try to deep fry them.

SO....  What if we remove those 2 obstacles and give you a crispy MEAT WRAPPED egg roll?!?

The ingredients below are suggestions - you can toss in leftover green beans, pickles (kidding!) or anything that you find in the back of the fridge that doesn't have blue or green fur on it..  They'll come out great!  And you'll have "dinner in the palm of your hand."

Yield: 16 egg rolls

Ingredients

2 cups grated carrots
1 can (14 ounces) bean sprouts, drained
1/2 cup chopped water chestnuts
1/2 cup sliced green cabbage
1/4 cup chopped green onions
1 garlic clove, minced
2 cups finely diced cooked chicken (and/or pork)
4 teaspoons cornstarch
1 tablespoon water
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 teaspoon canola oil
Pinch cayenne pepper
16 wrapper sized slices prosciutto
Cooking spray


Directions

Coat a large skillet with cooking spray; add carrots, bean sprouts, water chestnuts, cabbage, onions and garlic. 

Cook and stir over medium heat until vegetables are crisp-tender, about 3 minutes. 

Add meat; heat through.

In a small bowl, combine the cornstarch, water, soy sauce, oil and cayenne until smooth; stir into meat mixture. 

Bring to a boil. 

Cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. 

Remove from the heat and allow to cool a bit before handling.

Spoon 1/4 cup meat mixture on the bottom third of one prosciutto slice; fold sides toward center and roll tightly. Repeat.

Spritz tops of egg rolls with cooking spray. Bake at 400° F for 10-15 minutes or until browned and crispy. (May vary depending on your oven.

Cook's Notes:

• Tell your deli counter attendant to slice the prosciutto thick enough to hold together for rolling, not "see through".  They will understand. 
• You can freeze cooled egg rolls in a freezer container, separating layers with waxed paper. To use, reheat rolls on a baking sheet in a preheated 350° oven until crisp and heated through. 

Three Cheese Breakfast Puffs

I love cheese. Sometimes I just need cheese. Did you notice that this recipe has three cheeses? Oh yeah!  THREE CHEESES!!!  These little breakfast puffs are almost like little cheese souffles. They are puffy and light. Simple to put together and fun to eat. 

Breakfast or snacks for 2

Ingredients

4 large eggs
1/4 cup cottage cheese
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese
2 oz shredded sharp cheddar cheese

Preheat oven to 350 F

Beat the eggs. 

Stir in the cheeses. 

Spray mini muffin tins or silicon cups with oil. 

Fill each cup a little higher than you would with a cake batter. 

Bake for 15-20 minutes. They will puff up and turn golden on top. 

Let the puffs cool 5 minutes before removing from cups. 

They will fall just a bit with cooling.

16 mini puffs: less than 1 carb per puff


Cook's Notes:

• I didn't add a lot of other flavors to these because I wanted to really taste the cheese. That, I got. i can't help thinking that a few green chilies would be nice - or crumbled bacon - or sausage - or shredded ham - or <insert imagination here>  .
• The cottage cheese makes the texture light. It makes scrambled eggs all tender and yummy too. 
• The Parmesan cheese is the kind in the green can. I love fresh but this is a staple in my kitchen. It adds flavor and body to the eggs.
• They are even good leftover and cold. They don't deflate, so go ahead and make a batch for your brown bag/road trip/picnic. They will travel well.

Cauliflower Hash Brown Muffin Cups

I love muffin-tin dishes.  They are handy for storing and having a grab-n-go meal when you need one. Here's a low-carb twist for breakfast. After using cauliflower as a stand-in for pizza crust and rice pudding, I had to try it as faux-hash browns. Turns out, it's pretty TASTY!!

Ingredients

2 heads of cauliflower, trimmed, stemmed and chopped
2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese
1 dozen + 2 large eggs
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp salt
Fresh ground pepper to taste
Chives, chopped (optional)

4 strips bacon - fried crisp

Instructions

Preheat oven to 375° F. 

Lightly grease a 12-cup muffin tin and set aside.

Bring large pot of water to a rolling boil

Add chopped cauliflower

Blanch for 3 minutes

Drop the blanched cauliflower into the bowl of a food processor and pulse until they start to resemble a fine grain.

Pour the ground cauliflower onto paper or cloth kitchen towels and twist to wring out excess liquid. Do this up to three times until the cauliflower comes out completely dry.

Transfer dry cauliflower to a large mixing bowl. Add cheddar cheese, garlic powder, salt and two eggs and stir to combine.

Distribute the mixture evenly throughout the muffin tins and use your fingers to press the mixture into the sides and bottom of each cup to form the nests.

Bake the nests for 15-17 minutes until brown.

Add a couple bits of bacon to the bottom of each cup and crack an egg on top, without breaking the yolk.

Bake for 7-8 minutes.

Sprinkle with chives and pepper to taste.

Cook's Notes:

A food processor is a crucial for getting that hash brown texture, but a powerful blender could work too. Once your cauliflower is pulsed to bits it's imperative that you remove ALL of the liquid. 

From there, you're just forming a dough with eggs and cheddar cheese (and a little garlic powder, salt and pepper, to give it more of a potato-like flavor). Your fingers are really your best tool when it comes to incorporating here, so roll up your sleeves and get that "dough" mixed and molded. A shot glass works well for molding the nests too

Be sure to pre-bake the nests before adding the eggs and other toppings. But really, treat this cauliflower concoction as "dough" because you can essentially put anything you want inside. We chose bacon and chives but anything you like in a savory egg dish would work: avocado, tomatoes, spinach, kale—you name it! 

Shrimp Lo Mein ala Zoodle

I am ON the Zoodles (zucchini noodles) bandwagon.  All those high carb pasta dishes I've been shunning for years are now not only accessible, but even more delicious than I remember!  Mostly because there is no gummy, funky pasta - and they cook quickly with no giant cauldrons of boiling water!

If you love takeout lo mein, try it with zoodles instead. You will NOT be sorry!

2-3 post-op portions

Ingredients


1 large garlic clove

1 Tbsp vegetable or peanut oil
1 large (or 2 small) zucchini cut into thick spaghetti shaped zoodles
3 oz carrots - cut in matchsticks
1/2 cup shelled edamame
2 tsp sesame oil
2 Tbsp soy sauce (I recommend low-sodium)
1/2 Tbsp hot sauce (optional)
8 - 10 large shrimp - shelled and deveined

2 Tbsp chopped scallions
1 tsp corn starch (optional)
1 tsp whole sesame seeds (optional)


Instructions

Set your wok over medium-high heat and allow it to get very hot. 

Splash in oil and swirl to coat 

Old Chinese saying: "Hot wok, cold oil, food won't stick!"

Add garlic clove and cook until garlic flavors the oil and is browned on all sides. Remove.  DO NOT BURN.

Add zoodles, carrots and edamame, along with sesame oil, soy sauce, shrimp and hot sauce (if using).

Stir corn starch into a few tsp cold water to dissolve and pour over mixture. (this step is optional, but I like the sauce to cling to everything.)

Toss with tongs for approximately two minutes until heated through. 

Garnish with scallions and/or sesame seeds.

Cook's Notes:

• Of course, you are not limited to shrimp.  You can easily substitute (or add) lobster (for you rich and famous folk) or leftover shredded pork - or beef - and/or chicken - use them ALL for "House Lo Mein".
• Add broccoli florets or snow peas - or frozen green peas to green it up even more. 
• Color variations: 1 small green zucchini and 1 small yellow squash
• I like some thin sliced onion petals in mine too!