Inside Out Sausage "Biscuits"

 “Crisp” on the outside and “fluffy” on the inside.

I know it’s rude to talk with your mouth full, and greasy fingers aren’t so great for my keyboard, but I just had to share this delicious recipe with you for inside out sausage biscuits!

It only takes about 10 minutes to whip up and toss in the oven. The “dough” keeps well in the refrigerator if you want to cook a few fresh at a time, but the biscuits keep well too so I tend to cook plenty so I have something to “grab and go” on hand.  And they heat/crisp up nicely in a toaster oven.
You can try different variations or use different cheeses. I’ve tried Cheddar or Colby Jack shredded cheeses (mixed half/half with the Parmesan) in the recipe for example, which was delicious too!

This is considered a “half batch” so you can easily halve it again for a smaller batch, or double it for a larger batch.

As is, this recipe makes 8 biscuits, each about 1.3 net carbs

Ingredients: 

1/2 cup Almond Meal/Flour
2 Large Eggs
1 Tbsp Butter, Melted
8oz raw good quality sausage (half a tube)
6oz bag finely shredded Parmesan cheese

Instructions:

This recipe makes about 10 inside out sausage biscuits.

Note: Now is a good time to preheat your oven to 350 degrees and place parchment paper on a baking sheet. Your hands will be too icky in a second. 

Melt the butter in the microwave

Stir the two eggs together

Combine all of the ingredients in a large bowl.

Mix all the ingredients together with my hands, similar to the way you would make a meatloaf: by kneading all the ingredients through your fingers until the ingredients are evenly mixed. Yes it’s cold and squishy!  Your fingers are your best kitchen utensil.

Patty out the dough into palm sized “biscuits” and place them on a parchment paper lined baking sheet. 

Bake at 350 degrees until done, with a nice browned crisp texture on the outside. They may take 15-20 minutes to cook, or a little longer depending on your oven and how thick you make them.  One thick batch went 45 minutes.

Just keep an eye on them, flip them halfway through to brown on both sides, and take them out when they are browned to your liking.

Cook's Notes:

• Remove from baking sheet when done and place on paper towels to soak up any excess grease.  
• Delicious warm, cold or at room temperature! 
• Works well substituting 1 cup of precooked sausage crumbles.
• Kick them up with a little crushed red pepper.
• Tasty with Italian sausage for that fennel bite.
• Toss in some cheddar cheese and form into balls for a favorite snack bite, sausage balls!

Melon Sorbet

It's that time of year for fireflies and June bugs - and sitting outside on the porch after dinner in the cool of the evening to enjoy a bite of something sweet.  What?  You had that surgery where you can't eat anything sweet?  P-shaw!  You haven't been paying attention!!

I am a melon junkie.  A ripe honeydew, a sweet cantaloupe or a luscious watermelon can take my breath away, so why not make them into a simple sorbet that you can enjoy at your leisure?

I found a perfect honeydew at the local market, but you can use virtually any melon in the same way.

Ingredients

1 melon  (adjust watermelon proportionately!!)

1 Tbsp lemon juice

up to 1/2 cup (sugar equivalent) artificial sweetener - depending on the sweetness of the melon

1/4 cup water
pinch (1/8 tsp) salt (optional)

Instructions

Peel and chop melon into bite sized pieces

Arrange loosely on a parchment covered sheet pan and freeze 4 to 5 hours until solid.

Add frozen melon to bowl of food processor

Add lemon juice, water, salt and sweetener

Process until smooth

Pour the pureed melon mixture into a freezer proof container (I used a lined metal loaf pan) and return to the freezer for at least 1 hour. Cover for longer storage.

Scoop up and serve!

If you prefer your fruit on a stick, pour the puree into Popsicle molds before you refreeze

Cook's Notes:

• This recipe works with most melons, berries and fresh fruits! 
• You can make your sorbet more "elegant" by bringing the water to a boil and steeping finely chopped mint, basil or thyme leaves in it before adding to the food processor.
• The salt is a "Southern Thing" - we put it on melon down here to enhance the inherent sweetness - yes, it's weird - but Southern cooks know a LOT about FLAVOR 

Have a great summer and CHILL!

10 Things to STOP Doing for a Low Carb Diet

So, you've made "the decision" to move forward with weight loss surgery.  Most surgeons will require that you lose a certain amount of weight before your surgery can take place.  This ensures they have "room" inside you to do the surgery - plus every pound you lose helps with the healing and recovery process.  Most will recommend a low-carb diet to achieve those goals - both pre and post-surgery.  OR..  Maybe you're just diving head first into healthy eating and wondering what this low-carb things is all about.  No better way to find out than to live it and see what it can do for you.

Eating a healthy low-carb diet isn’t always easy, especially at first. But you can definitely make it worse for yourself! Here are ten easy things you can stop doing to make it easier on yourself.

1. Stop Drinking Sugary Drinks

This one seems totally obvious, but this is the #1 source of sugar in the U.S. diet, by far. There may not be another thing besides quitting smoking that would have as great an effect on the health of the general population than to stop doing this.  While you're at it - stop the "diet" drinks as well.  Studies show that they are worse for weight gain than their sugary kin.

Of course, water is the obvious thing to substitute, but this is going to sound a little austere to a lot of people. Another suggestion is tea, in all its many forms: hot, iced, black, green, and herbal. The “regular” teas (black or green) and many of the herbals have a lot of health benefits, at a fraction of the cost of soda. There are even flavored teas. And don’t be afraid to mix and match! My current favorite is to brew some flavored green tea (lemon, mango, or jasmine) with some black tea. (Note: if you’re brewing green tea, it should be at a slightly lower temperature than black to avoid bitterness. I throw a couple of ice cubes into the kettle after it comes to a boil.)

Fruit and berries added to your water also make for a refreshing change of pace.  If you've never had ice water with slices of cucumber in it then you are in for a treat.

2. Stop Going Hungry

Does the word “diet” bring on memories of being hungry, obsessing about food, and even dreaming about food?

Do you think hunger and deprivation are necessary for weight loss? Well, start thinking about the opposite! If these experiences are frequent, your way of eating is simply not sustainable. People’s favorite things about eating this way include “Lack of hunger” and “feeling satisfied” at the top of the list.

3. Stop Being Afraid of Eating Fat

The messages about how bad it is to eat fats are everywhere. You simply must learn to ignore them. The Harvard School of Public Health held a symposium with food writers and journalists where they asked them to take a pledge to stop using the term “low-fat”, but, alas, it was apparently in vain.  You NEED fat in your eating plan to achieve satiety - that feeling of fullness.    besides, your brain is made largely of fat and requires being replenished regularly!

4. Stop Eating the Same Things Every Day

When we first change our diet, it’s easy to get into a rut and eat the same few foods all the time. This, for most people, gets boring pretty fast, and the label “boring” is quickly added to the diet. Look at some cookbooks or recipes online, check out the spice aisle for inspiration, try a new vegetable or cut of meat. Use the change in your diet as an opportunity to expand your horizons. And remember, variety is a good thing, nutritionally speaking.  There are a couple hundred tasty (and mostly simple) low-carb recipes on this site, including low-carb versions of the favorite foods you may have thought you are giving up forever. - Not so!

5. Stop Relying on Low-Carb Junk Food

Low-carb bars and packets of snack foods have their place — when traveling, for example.

But there are drawbacks to making them a part of our everyday diet. For one thing, people tend to have highly variable blood sugar reactions to many of these products. The “net carbs” listed on the package may look low, but for a variety of reasons, your body may disagree. Also, these so-called “highly palatable foods” are designed to “hook” our taste buds and brains into wanting more. Eating lots of artificially-sweetened foods is an example as they tend to make us keep believing that foods are supposed to be that highly-sweetened.  There's a reason they are called "junk foods."

6. Stop Browsing the Cereal, Crackers, and Cookie Aisles

Out of sight, out of mind. Seriously. Gazing at those bags of Oreo cookies only reminds you that you used to enjoy eating Oreos. No good can come of this. There are “islands” in the supermarket with “food that won’t poison me”. I just go to those islands. I just go to the foods I’m looking for, and ignore the brightly-colored packages along the way. “Shopping the perimeter” of the store, and avoiding the inner aisles altogether, is a great strategy if you can manage it.  It's always a good idea to clear it all out of your house as well.  Give it to you friends - or a shelter - or put it in the trash where it belongs.  Repeating the first line of this section.  "Out of sight, out of mind."

7. Stop Shorting Yourself on Sleep

There is a whole basket of things that stresses our bodies, and not getting enough sleep is one of the biggies. Lack of sleep and other kinds of stress tend to kick off cortisol and other stress hormones that mess with our blood sugar. This, of course, is the opposite of what a low-carb diet aims to do, which is to stabilize blood sugar. As part of the package, the stress reactions of the body tend to increase appetite, which we certainly don’t need!

8. Stop Freaking Out About Diet Studies in the News

I am a science-minded person — in fact, I came to low-carb eating because of the science. But many “science” articles in the news misrepresent the research, or the studies themselves are problematic in some way. Rest assured that over the years, as data accumulates, it points more and more to a reduced-carb diet being a very healthy way to eat for much of the population. In any case, the average result of 50,000 people isn’t going to tell you much about what will work for you. No study costing millions of dollars is needed; just check it out for yourself!

9. Stop Trying to Follow the Diet that Works for your Neighbor

Almost every diet works for some people, and different amounts of carbohydrate work best for different people. One of the strengths of the Atkins Diet, for example, is that it is structured to help each person zero in on the types and amounts of carbohydrate that work best for their bodies.

Similarly, don’t try to argue your neighbor out of the diet that works for her or him. Just tell what works for you and your body — that’s hard to argue with.

10. Stop Avoiding the Truth

If you know that a reduced-carb diet works for you — if you’re healthier and happier when you’ve rid yourself of the extra sugar and starches — you owe it to yourself to figure out a way to make this work for you as a permanent way of eating. No one is perfect, and we all need help making this a “way of eating” rather than a “diet”. 

Lemonade Mother Fluffer

It's RICH!  

It's TART!  

It's LIGHT!

It's SWEET! 

It's FLUFFY!  

It's CREAMY! 

It's SMOOTH!

It's LUSCIOUS!

What else could you POSSIBLY call it besides Lemonade Mother Fluffer?!?

Ingredients

5 oz heavy cream

1/2 cup Splenda Granular
1 3.4 oz box of sugar free instant lemon pudding mix
2 8 oz packages of cream cheese (at room temperature)
3 single serve packets sugar free lemonade drink mix (or to taste)

4 oz water

Instructions

• In a small mixing bowl, combine cream and pudding mix.
• Beat on low speed for 2 minutes (mixture will be thick).
• In a medium mixing bowl, beat cream cheese with Splenda until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes.
• Stir lemonade mix into water
• Gradually beat lemonade mixture into cream cheese.
• Combine pudding mixture.
• Spoon into serving container(s)
• Cover and refrigerate for at least 4 hours.

Cook's Notes:

I recommend serving in ramekins, martini or champagne glasses with a dollop of whipped cream, a sprig of fresh mint or a curled lemon slice

You can bring your cream cheese to room temperature by running each 8 oz block individually through a microwave for 30 seconds. DO NOT do them both for one minute!!!

Of course you COULD serve it as a pie with a ground nut crust - but I'll leave that as an exercise for the reader.

When you tell your guests what this creation is named, speak clearly and carefully...

Shrimp and Zoodle Ramen

It only took one serving for me to become a Zoodles (zucchini noodles) fan.  I'll never go back to Spaghetti squash or, God help me, those awful "Miracle Noodles" - of course, if you are a fan of either of those they work perfectly well as a replacement for the Zoodles in this recipe.  

If you want to try zoodles I strongly recommend the "Spiralizer" brand available at Amazon and other retail outlets.  I'm not compensated in any way by Spiralizer - just a fan..  

1 medium zucchini
1 tsp sesame oil
1 Tbsp low-sodium soy sauce
2 cup low-sodium chicken broth
1 clove garlic peeled
1/2 tsp ginger grated
8 sliced mushrooms
8 medium shrimp cooked, peeled and deveined
1 egg hard boiled
2 Tbsp green onion chopped
1 chili pepper sliced (optional - usually Serrano or Jalapeno)
Servings: bowls (depending on your eating capacity)


Make your zoodles on the thinnest setting, set aside

In a small pot, combine sesame oil, soy sauce, chicken broth, garlic and ginger. Bring to a hard boil, then reduce to simmer. If shrimp are frozen, add them and the mushrooms to the mixture then cover and wait 5 minutes for them to thaw and cook in the hot broth.  Otherwise add thawed shrimp with 2 minutes remaining.

Meanwhile, prepare a hardboiled egg by adding an egg cold water, bring to a boil, cover and remove from heat for 10 minutes. Transfer to cold water immediately and let sit for 2-3 minutes, then peel and slice in half.

Assemble your ramen bowl by placing the desired amount of zoodles in a bowl, followed by hot broth, shrimp, mushrooms and half of a hardboiled egg. Garnish with green onions and, if desired, sliced red hot chili peppers.

Cook's Notes:

• For the mushrooms I used baby bellas  (Cremini) but you can use shiitake to be more authentic - or just plain old white buttons!
• The heat of the broth will cook the zoodles and impart a delicious flavor in them.

Greek Chicken and Parsley in an Egg-Lemon Sauce

I am extremely fond of egg-lemon sauce - or the soup. Here it is paired with chicken and parsley in this unusual dish in which the parsley is treated like a vegetable rather than as a garnish. The Greeks call it Kotopoulo me Maidano Avgolemono .  You will need a parsley garden of your own to do this, as the recipe calls for 3 POUNDS of parsley!

1/2 cup olive oil
2-3 lbs chicken pieces
1 cup dry white wine
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
1 cup chicken stock or water
3 lbs fresh flat-leaf parsley plus additional for garnish
10-12 scallions (spring onions), green and white parts, chopped 

Avgolemono sauce (see below) 

Heat half the oil in a skillet over moderate heat and brown the chicken pieces on all sides.
Add the wine and cook for 5 minutes.
Add the salt, pepper, and chicken stock and simmer covered over low heat for 30 minutes.
Cut off and discard most of the stems of the parsley.
Heat the remaining oil in a separate skillet over moderate heat and saute the parsley and scallions until wilted, about 3 minutes.
Add to the chicken mixture and cook 10 to 15 minutes more.
Place the chicken pieces on a serving platter and arrange the parsley mixture around the chicken. Spoon the avgolemono sauce over the chicken and garnish with chopped fresh parsley. 

Serves 4 to 6 

Avgolemono Sauce 

2 eggs
Juice of 2 lemons
2 tsp cornstarch mixed with
2 Tbs cold water
1 1/2 cups chicken stock or water
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste 

Whisk together the eggs, lemon juice, and cornstarch mixture.
Combine with the remaining ingredients in a saucepan and bring to a simmer over low heat, stirring frequently, until the sauce is hot and slightly thickened.
Do not boil. 

Makes about 2 cups

Sugar Free Lemon Cheesecake Mousse

Sugar Free Lemon Cheesecake Mousse

There are delicious recipes and there are dead simple recipes, but you know you've scored a huge hit when you find a dead simple delicious recipe.  Such a recipe resides below.  Dessert that makes you look like a kitchen goddess that can be whipped together in 10 minutes!

• 8 ounces mascarpone or cream cheese at room temperature
• 1/4 cup lemon juice or juice of 2 fresh lemons
• 1 cup heavy cream
• 1/2-1 tablespoon Splenda Granular (or equivalent sweetener of choice)
• 1/8 teaspoon salt

Add cream cheese and lemon juice to a stand mixer and blend until smooth.
Add heavy cream and the rest of the ingredients and blend until whipped.
Taste and adjust sweetener if needed.
Pipe into serving glasses and sprinkle on lemon zest if desired.
Keep refrigerated until ready to serve.

Cook's Notes:

• If you decide on this at the last minute and have no time to bring the cream cheese to room temperature, unwrap it, put it on a plate and microwave for NO MORE than 30 seconds - it's perfect!
• Fresh lemons are easier to squeeze and give more juice if you microwave them for 10 seconds.
• Zest your lemons BEFORE you squeeze them!  Fresh blueberries also make a beautiful garnish in season - add them at service.
• Put mixture in a zip-top bag, snip the corner and use it as an economical piping bag.
• That minuscule pinch of salt points up the sweetness AND the lemon - but go lightly with it.  A little is perfect - a lot is ruinous.

Is It Spoiled?

I am a man who truly *LOVES* food. I hold it and marvel at it's beauty, I bite it and exult in it's texture. I chew it and savor the components of it's taste.

I also cook. I'm a cook, not a chef. A chef is just a cook who can swear in French.  But I know that a LOT of my readers AREN'T cooks and you sometimes encounter items that MAY be a bit past their prime.  below is a sure-fire way to answer the age old question: "Is It Spoiled?"

Eggs  When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.

Dairy Products  Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt.
Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese.
Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese.
Regular cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese but you realize you've never purchased that kind.

Bread  Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good indication that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.

Flour  Flour is spoiled if it wiggles.

Canned Goods  Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of carefully.

Carrots  A carrot in which you can tie a clove hitch is not fresh.

Raisins  Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.

Potatoes  Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.

Chip Dip  If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.

Unmarked Items  Generally speaking, plastic containers should not burp when you open them.  You know it is well beyond it’s prime when you're tempted to discard the plastic container along with the food. 

My Go-To Protein Shake

I love my protein shakes.  I have AT LEAST one everyday - and that one shake is almost always my Double Chocolate Iced Mocha Delight.  I get asked for the recipe all the time, so today I reveal to the world what I'm sipping  while I sit on the back deck in the morning sun...


This shake has 2 purposes for me.  Besides being delicious it has to deliver a high level of nutrition aside from the protein and assist with the normal bodily functions that "get out of whack" in bariatric patients.  So, there are 2 sets of recipes below.  The first is for the basic protein shake - and the second my "kicked up" version.  I rarely specify name brands in my recipes, but I'll give them to you here.  I found these brands work best for me.  You are welcome to substitute as you see fit.

I invented this recipe when I was traveling every week, so necessarily, all the ingredients are powdered so they could be packaged and tucked in my suitcase.  I'll talk about liquid options below.  Also, since I drink these EVERY DAY I make them up in quantity.  

Once you've been drinking protein shakes long enough, you have HUNDREDS of protein scoops falling out of your kitchen drawers.  For that reason my whole world is measured in "protein scoops" and I'll use those same measurements here.

Basic Shake: Makes about 18 Shakes

16  scoops Nature's Best Isopure Dutch Chocolate Protein
16 teaspoons Folger's Crystals instant decaffeinated coffee
4   1.4oz (small) packages Jell-0 brand sugar free Chocolate (or Chocolate Fudge) pudding mix
16 scoops non-fat dry milk (I buy the house brand at Sam's club)

Use 2 scoops of this mixture in a shaker cup or blender with 12 to 16 oz of water and ice.

Super Shake:

Start with recipe above and add:
4 scoops All One Powder Multiple Vitamins & Minerals
16 teaspoons Benefiber
16 teaspoons Miralax

Use 2 1/2 scoops of this mixture in a shaker cup or blender with 12 to 16 oz of water and ice.

By way of explanation, the All-One Powder is a tasteless and quite potent vitamin supplement that I use to augment the chewables I also take daily.
The Benefiber is the tasteless colorless fiber that dissolves completely in water without making a thick gloppy (technical term) mass
The Miralax is the perfect amount of laxative used daily that helps me avoid the "River Rock Syndrome" and, along with lots of water, keeps me regular

Liquids:

In each shake there is 1 scoop of non-fat dry milk, which makes approximately 1 cup (8 oz) of milk when mixed with water.  If you are lactose intolerant you can leave out the powdered milk and use 1 cup of almond or soy (or any other) milk.  If you leave out the powdered milk, reduce the powder mix by ONE scoop per shake.
The remaining liquid can also be anything, usually water.  I invariably have leftover coffee each day that I put in the refrigerator to add to my shake - I LIKE that extra coffee flavor punch.

 Cook's Notes:

• This makes a lot of shake mix.  I can easily be halved or even quartered.  I keep mine in a left over protein container since I have stacks of them!
• You can make ANY flavor combination using different proteins and pudding flavors.  I really enjoy a Vanilla Pistachio on occasion (without the coffee!) or a Caribbean Cheesecake.  Don't be afraid to buy single serve protein powder packets and experiment.  You may find the ONE SHAKE that is perfect for YOU..

OODLES OF ZOODLES!!!

The "Spiralizer" - My zoodle maker of choice

I've a rule in my kitchen that EVERY tool and appliance MUST have more than one purpose.  No "single-tasker" devices.  Even my kitchen tongs double as a citrus squeezer and the coffeemaker does pots and cups and lattes and specialty drinks.  So it took a LONG time and a LOT of convincing before I plunked down real American dollars for a "Spiralizer" - and then, it sat unused in the cabinet, still in it's box for months.  Until last night...

At the end of my rope for dinner I wanted SOMETHING different and rummaging through the fridge I found a couple zucchini that were past their prime and said, "Eh, why not?"

20 minutes of digging through cabinets finally surfaced the long forgotten chuck of plastic and steel and rendered those pitiful zucchini into beautiful green and white ribbons.  I was in love..

Sauteed some chicken breast, a leek, some mushrooms, celery and garlic in butter - then tossed in the "zoodles" to get them heated through.

Just to be cautious I also warmed some leftover red sauce I had in the fridge and whipped up a poor man's Alfredo  sauce with cream and Parmesan. I didn't need either.  The veg and meat combo was delicious as is - even the non-bariatric eaters in the house thought it was wonderful

No more spaghetti squash for me - and CERTAINLY no more nasty "miracle noodles."  I'm a ZOODLES man from now on, and that spiralizer has earned a place of prominence on my countertop where it will be REGULARLY used!

Cook's Notes:

Al dente zoodles. It's what we all want, right?

• If you are using zoodles to replace noodles in stir-fry don't add the zoodles to the mix until about the last two minutes of cooking and add them raw.
• If you are using zoodles to replace noodles under sauce such as Alfredo or Bolognese, you can do one of two things: you can either parboil them (bring pot of water to full boil, drop zoodles in and cook for about one minute before taking them back out) OR you can simply add the zoodles to the pan of sauce for the last two minutes of cooking. In the latter case, you'll want to make sure you have a good, thick sauce as the zoodles WILL give up some water as they cook.
• If you are making zoodles ahead for hot lunches or some other near-future occasion, don't cook them at all. When you reheat the dish in the microwave (or wherever) they will get sufficiently cooked.
• If you are making zoodles to replace noodles in a cold noodle salad, also don't cook them at all IF (this is important) you are making the salad ahead. Especially when you use tangy dressings (like vinaigrette or sesame ginger) the acid in the dressing will soften your zoodles but will leave them with just enough cold crunch to be really, REALLY satisfying.

Almond Breakfast Cereal

The only REAL reason this blog exists is for me to have a place to "scratch my own itch" - to keep recipes for things that I've had cravings for from my OLD life, now that I've embarked on my NEW life. So, recently, it was cereal.  I was walking down the grocery aisle and my eyes fell on all the labels.   Cheerios, Kashi, Corn Pops, Frosted Flakes, Raisin Brain.  Time was, I could rip open the top and eat the whole box. I mean it’s so good. 

BUT, nutritionally it's crap. It’s expensive sugar in a bowl, so I’ve cut it out of my life. I still miss it - and that means I had to make a version I could eat. 

I was worried about not feeling full from it for long, but that wasn’t an issue. It filled me up all the way until lunch. And it was easy and fast.

Almond Breakfast Cereal
2 Tbsp almonds
2 Tbsp roasted pumpkin seeds (pepitas)
1 Tbsp chia seeds
1/3 cup coconut milk
1/3 cup water
1/2 banana**
handful of blueberries**

**You could add whatever fruit you wanted, this is what I had on hand.



Put the coconut milk in a bowl and add your chia seeds. Let it sit for 3-5 minutes and thicken

Pulse 1 tablespoon of the pumpkin seeds and your almonds in the food processor a few times. Decide how “chunky” you want it. I didn’t grind mine to a pulp,  but it resembled granola.

Place the mixture and the rest of the seeds into the bowl with the chia seeds and milk once it’s thickened and add your fruit on top. Add water (or milk) to your desired consistency. 

A sprinkle of cinnamon finishes it off beautifully.

Cook's Notes:

• With the added fruit I found it had enough sweetness, but a sprinkle of your favorite sweetener is OK if you need it.
• I like the coconut milk, but you can substitute almond, soy or cow (or moose, or ferret) milk
• Next batch I'm adding some slivered almonds too, for the "crispy flake" texture.
• This is SO open to experimentation!  Today I added some vanilla protein powder to the liquid and it was even MORE yummy!

Bacon Cheeseburger Stuffed Portobello

A low carb bacon cheeseburger stuffed portobello mushroom. It's getting warm and I want my summer burgers. This satisfies my craving without wads of fluffy white buns and their associated carbs!

Serves: 4

1 lb ground beef
½ tsp salt
¼ tsp black pepper
2 to 3 cloves garlic, peeled and minced
¼ cup tomato puree or sauce, check ingredients (make sure there is no sugar)
2 ½ tbsp mayonnaise
2 tbsp flax meal
4 large portobello mushrooms, stemmed
4 strips bacon, cooked and chopped
⅓ cup grated cheese


Preheat oven to 400 F, and line or grease a baking sheet.
Add ground beef, sea salt, black pepper and minced garlic to a fry pan over medium high heat and cook until beef is browned.
Drain beef of excess fat.
In a large mixing bowl combine: browned ground beef and garlic, tomato sauce, flax meal and mayonnaise.
Mix together thoroughly.
Spoon equal amounts of meat mixture into hollow of the portobella mushrooms.
Top with chopped bacon.
Place mushrooms on a lined or oiled baking sheet.
Bake at 400 for 15 to 20 minutes until mushrooms are cooked.
Remove from oven and top with grated cheese if desired.
Allow to cool slightly. Top each with grated cheese and your favorite cheeseburger toppings!


Cook's Notes:

• Check the labels on your tomato products and mayonnaise. The GOOD ones don't add sugar
• ⅓ cup of cheese isn't much.  I must admit I drowned mine in loads of rich cheddar - and I LOVED it!

Hamburger - Sandwich Buns

I know..  How exciting is a picture of plain old white bread?  Well, that depends on which side of bariatric surgery you are standing on! From my point of view, it's one of the most beautiful pictures I've ever posted.  

Here is the recipe for these lovely buns which work great on those occasions when you would KILL for a hamburger or  sandwich. I also use them in the morning for breakfast and toast in my toaster oven and make a nice egg, bacon and cheese sandwich. Works great for any kind of sandwich you may want.

I use a muffin top pan to bake these in.


It really is the best for size and texture that you'll come out with. 

I have not found a bread/bun recipe that I like better so far. And I have tried literally HUNDREDS of them


Hamburger - Sandwich Buns


6 tablespoons Parmesan cheese
3 tablespoons almond flour
1 tablespoon psyllium husk powder (also known as unflavored fiber in the drugstore "digestive health" aisle)
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
3 eggs
3 tablespoons water -- OR other liquid such as almond milk, broth, etc.

In medium bowl add Parmesan cheese, almond flour, psyllium husk powder and baking powder. Whisk together.

Add eggs and water and whisk until smooth.

Preheat oven to 350 F. Grease 4 muffin top tins. Pour batter evenly in each. Bake 15 to 17 min. or until done.

Let cool completely. Slice each bun in half


4 servings: Per Serving: 131 Calories; 9g Fat (58.3% calories from fat); 9g Protein; 5g Carbohydrate; 4g Dietary Fiber, 1g net carb per bun

COOK'S NOTES : 

• Put all the dry ingredients in a coffee grinder and grind for about 10 - 15 seconds to sift together and get out any clumps. This makes a really nice texture to the buns. 
• For added "yeasty" flavor, add 1 tbsp nutritional yeast flakes to dry ingredients.
• Like any good bread these can be flavored either sweet or savory.  Anything from Cinnamon Raisin to Black Pepper Poppy Garlic..  Experiment!

Cauliflower Rice Pudding

I grew up eating my Granny's rice pudding.  We always looked forward to it the nights after there was any rice leftover from the previous evening's meal. EVERYTHING was used and reused in our house.  As a kid I often wondered why we had a trash can.  Virtually NOTHING ever went into it!  I've had rice pudding in big bowls with large spoons.  I've eaten it baked with a crispy crunchy top and eaten it from wine and martini glasses in fancy restaurants - and I loved every one of them.

Of course, the low carb lifestyle I now try to maintain takes rice pudding off the table, as it were...  At least until now.  I've been substituting cauliflower for mashed potatoes and rice for several years, when it suddenly hit me that it tastes like RICE - and THAT means RICE PUDDING!!!

This makes about 4 servings..  Or ONE if you are home alone..  :-)

2 cups riced cauliflower (about 1/2 head)
1/2 cup coconut cream
1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk (or other)
1 egg
1 teaspoon cinnamon
2 packets Splenda or stevia (Approximate equivalent to 4 tsp sugar)

Place riced cauliflower (see notes below), coconut cream, and (almond) milk in a large microwaveable bowl. Microwave on high for 2 minutes.
Transfer cauliflower mixture to a medium-sized saucepan. Beat in egg. 

Add cinnamon and sweetener. 

Turn on heat to medium-high and cook, stirring often, for about 5 minutes, until it begins to thicken. 

Remove from heat and allow to cool.
Serve warm or cold with desired toppings. 

Store extras in the fridge for up to 3 days.

Cook's Notes:

• To rice cauliflower: Place cauliflower pieces in a food processor and pulse about 20 times, until the cauliflower is finely minced - about the size of regular rice grains. You can finely chop the cauliflower with a knife. Be warned: To get the right consistency, this takes me 10 minutes or longer - and I'm GOOD with a knife!
• If you're not sugar-free and you want to try this recipe, feel free to use sugar instead of the stevia. I would start with a tablespoon and go from there.
• Recommended toppings: Fresh berries, nuts, cinnamon, melted butter, etc.
• I've used almond milk here, but you can use soy, cow, moose, guinea pig - whatever milk you like.

Crispy Quinoa Chicken Parmesan

I stopped at a local Italian deli (sometimes I make bad choices!) and there was a beautiful tray of Chicken Parmesan, deep fried and smothered in Gramma's red gravy and Mozzarella cheese.  Summoning all my fortitude I picked up a bottle of my favorite olive oil and headed for the cash register - leaving the chicken parm behind.  But I didn't forget it! With an amazingly crisp quinoa crust, you'll never guess that this is actually healthy and packed with tons of protein!

Ingredients

1 cup quinoa
1 tablespoon Italian seasoning
2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut crosswise in half
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
2 large eggs, beaten
1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1 cup sugar free marinara sauce
1/4 cup basil leaves, chiffonade

Instructions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
Lightly oil a baking sheet or coat with nonstick spray.
In a large saucepan of 1 1/2 cups water, cook quinoa according to package instructions.
Stir in Italian seasoning.
Season chicken with salt and pepper, to taste.
Working in batches, dredge chicken in flour, dip into eggs, then dredge in quinoa mixture, pressing to coat.
Place chicken onto the prepared baking sheet.
Place into oven and bake for 20-25 minutes, or until golden brown.
Top with cheeses and marinara.
Place into oven and bake until cheeses have melted, about 5 more minutes.

Serve immediately, garnished with basil, if desired.

Jalapeno "Fudge"

This is NOT a rework of the creamy smooth sugar bomb you know as fudge,  THIS is a delicious, rich, cheesy, spicy mouth bomb that you can enjoy ANY time  Simple and tasty, go ahead and make this jalapeno fudge for breakfast or for a party appetizer. At .5 carbs per square, this makes a great snack! 

Makes 24 squares

Ingredients:

16 ounces of cheddar cheese, shredded
3 eggs, well beaten
4 fresh jalapenos, chopped
salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

Put chopped peppers in bottom of a lightly buttered 9X13 pan.

Top with cheese and eggs and salt and pepper.

Bake uncovered for 30 minutes in a preheated 350 degree oven. Cut into squares and serve up delicious jalapeno fudge.

Cook's Notes:  

• If you're leary of the jalapeno you can de-vein and de-seed the peppers, but I didn't think it was hot at all made as-is
• Remember those "Sausage Balls" you used to love? You can add cooked breakfast sausage or crispy chorizo in the bottom of the pan with the jalapeno.  

Roast Turkey

There are only 2 ways I'll cook a whole turkey. When I don't have time to prepare the Black Turkey I posted a few days ago, I make this one. It is succulent, delicious and beautifully golden brown. This recipe is from Alton Brown.

1 (14-16 pound) young turkey - thawed

For the brine:
1 cup kosher salt
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1 gallon vegetable stock
1 tablespoon black peppercorns
1/2 tablespoon allspice berries
1/2 tablespoon candied ginger
1 gallon iced water

Combine all brine ingredients, except ice water, in a stock pot and bring to a boil. 

Stir to dissolve solids, then remove from heat, cool to room temperature refrigerate until thoroughly chilled. 

Early on the day of cooking, (or late the night before) combine the brine and ice water in a clean 5 gallon bucket. 

Place thawed turkey breast side down in brine, cover, and refrigerate or set in cool area (like a basement) for 6 hours. 

Turn turkey over once, half way through brining.

For the aromatics:
1 red apple, sliced
1/2 onion, sliced
1 cinnamon stick
1 cup water
4 sprigs rosemary
6 leaves of sage
Canola oil

A few minutes before roasting, heat oven to 500 degrees. 

Combine the apple, onion, cinnamon stick and cup of water in a microwave safe dish and microwave on high for 5 minutes.

Remove bird from brine and rinse inside and out with cold water. 

Discard brine. 

Place bird on roasting rack inside wide, low pan and pat dry with paper towels. 

Add steeped aromatics to cavity along with rosemary and sage. 

Tuck back wings and coat whole bird liberally with canola (or other neutral) oil. 

Place rack on the lowest level of the oven and roast turkey at 500 degrees F for 30 minutes. 

Remove from oven and cover breast with double layer triangle of aluminum foil, insert probe thermometer into thickest part of the breast and return to oven, reducing temperature to 350 degrees. 

Set thermometer alarm (if available) to 161 degrees. 

A 14-16 pound bird should require a total of 2 to 2 1/2 hours of roasting. 

Let turkey rest, loosely covered for 15 minutes before carving.

Your dinner guests will applaud...

Yield: 10 to 12 servings (and amazing leftovers)

Black Turkey

Black Turkey, circa 1963

For over 40 years, at the approach of turkey-eating season, I have been trumpeting to all who would listen, and to a good many who would rather not, that there is only one way to cook a turkey. This turkey is not my turkey. It is the creation of the late Morton Thompson, who wrote "Not as a Stranger" and other books.

This recipe was first contained in the manuscript of a book called "The Naked Countess" which was given to the late Robert Benchley, who had eaten the turkey and was so moved as to write an introduction to the book. Benchley then lost the manuscript. He kept hoping it would turn up-- although not as much, perhaps, as Thompson did, but somehow it vanished, irretrievably. Thompson did not have the heart to write it over. He did, however, later put his turkey rule in another book. Not a cookbook, but a collection of very funny pieces called "Joe, the Wounded Tennis Player".

THE ONLY WAY TO COOK A TURKEY!!!!!!!

This turkey is work... it requires more attention than an average six-month-old baby. There are no shortcuts, as you will see.

Get a HUGE turkey-- I don't mean just a big, big bird, but one that looks as though it gave the farmer a hard time when he did it in. It ought to weigh between 16 and 30 pounds. Have the poultryman, or butcher, cut its head off at the end of the neck, peel back the skin, and remove the neck close to the body, leaving the tube. You will want this for stuffing. Also , he should leave all the fat on the bird.

When you are ready to cook your bird, rub it inside and out with salt and pepper. Give it a friendly pat and set it aside. Chop the heart, gizzard, and liver and put them, with the neck, into a stewpan with a clove of garlic, a large bay leaf, 1/2 tsp coriander, and some salt. I don't know how much salt-- whatever you think. Cover this with about 5 cups of water and put on the stove to simmer. This will be the basting fluid a little later.

About this time I generally have my first drink of the day, usually a RAMOS FIZZ. I concoct it by taking the whites of four eggs, an equal amount of whipping cream, juice of half a lemon (less 1 tsp.), 1/2 tsp. confectioner's sugar, an appropriate amount of gin, and blending with a few ice cubes. Pour about two tablespoons of club soda in a chimney glass, add the mix, with ice cubes if you prefer. Save your egg yolks, plus 1 tsp. of lemon -- you'll need them later. Have a good sip! (Add 1 dash of Orange Flower Water to the drink, not the egg yolks)

Get a huge bowl. Throw into it one diced apple, one diced orange, a large can of crushed pineapple, the grated rind of a lemon, and three tablespoons of chopped preserved ginger (If you like ginger, double this). Add 2 cans of drained Chinese water chestnuts.

Mix this altogether, and have another sip of your drink. Get a second, somewhat smaller, bowl. Into this, measuring by teaspoons, put: 2 hot dry mustard 2 caraway seed 2 celery seed 2 poppy seed 1 black pepper 2 1/2 oregano 1/2 mace 1/2 turmeric 1/2 marjoram 1/2 savory 3/4 sage 3/4 thyme 1/4 basil 1/2 chili powder

In the same bowl, add: 1 Tbl. poultry seasoning 4 Tbl parsley 1 Tbl salt 4 headless crushed cloves 1 well crushed bay leaf 4 large chopped onions 6 good dashes Tabasco 5 crushed garlic cloves 6 large chopped celery

Wipe your brow, refocus your eyes, get yet another drink--and a third bowl. Put in three packages of unseasoned bread crumbs (or two loaves of toast or bread crumbs), 3/4 lb. ground veal, 1/2 lb. ground fresh pork, 1/4 lb. butter, and all the fat you have been able to pull out of the bird.

About now it seems advisable to switch drinks. Martinis or stingers are recommended (Do this at your own risk - we always do!). Get a fourth bowl, an enormous one. Take a sip for a few minutes, wash your hands, and mix the contents of all the other bowls. Mix it well. Stuff the bird and skewer it. Put the leftover stuffing into the neck tube.

Turn your oven to 500 degrees F and get out a fifth small bowl. Make a paste consisting of those four egg yolks and lemon juice left from the Ramos Fizz. Add 1 tsp hot dry mustard, a crushed clove of garlic, 1 Tbl onion juice, and enough flour to make a stiff paste. When the oven is red hot, put the bird in, breast down on the rack. Sip on your drink until the bird has begin to brown all over, then take it out and paint the bird all over with paste. Put it back in and turn the oven down to 350 degrees F. Let the paste set, then pull the bird out and paint again. Keep doing this until the paste is used up.

Add a quart of cider or white wine to the stuff that's been simmering on the stove, This i s your basting fluid. The turkey must be basted every 15 minutes. Don't argue. Set your timer and keep it up. (When confronted with the choice "do I baste from the juice under the bird or do I baste with the juice from the pot on the stove?" make certain that the juice under the bird neither dries out and burns, nor becomes so thin that gravy is weak. When you run out of baste, use cheap red wine. This critter makes incredible gravy!)The bird should cook about 12 minutes per pound, basting every 15 minutes. Enlist the aid of your friends and family.

As the bird cooks, it will first get a light brown, then a dark brown, then darker and darker. After about 2 hours you will think I'm crazy. The bird will be turning black. (Newcomers to black turkey will think you Are demented and drunk on your butt, which, if you've followed instructions, you are) In fact, by the time it is finished, it will look as though we have ruined it. Take a fork and poke at the black cindery crust.

Beneath, the bird will be a gorgeous mahogany, reminding one of those golden-browns found in precious Rembrandts. Stick the fork too deep, and the juice will gush to the ceiling. When you take it out, ready to carve it, you will find that you do not need a knife. A loud sound will cause the bird to fall apart like the walls of that famed biblical city. The moist flesh will drive you crazy, and the stuffing--well, there is nothing like it on this earth. You will make the gravy just like it as always done, adding the giblets and what is left of the basting fluid.

Sometime during the meal, use a moment to give thanks to Morton Thompson. There is seldom, if ever, leftover turkey when this recipe is used. If there is, you'll find that the fowl retains its moisture for a few days. That's all there is to it. It's work, hard work--- but it's worth it.

(What follows is not part of the recipe, but is an ingredients list to aid in shopping for this monster, or for checking your spice cabinet)

Ingredients List:

1 turkey
salt
garlic
4 eggs
1 apple
1 orange
1 large can crushed pineapple
1 lemon
4 large onions
6 celery stalks
bunch of preserved ginger
2 cans water chestnuts
3 packages unseasoned bread crumbs
3/4 pounds ground veal
1/2 pounds ground pork
1/4 pounds
butter
onion juice
1 quart apple cider

Spice List:

basil
bay leaf
caraway seed
celery seed
chili powder
cloves
ground coriander
mace
marjoram
dry mustard
oregano
parsley
pepper, black
poultry seasoning
poppy seed
sage
savory
Tabasco
thyme
turmeric

Firecracker Sauce

It's only a couple days before I hope to watch my Carolina Panthers shut down the Denver Broncos in what should be an exciting and well-matched Superbowl 50. And being the Superbowl, I needed a super dipping sauce for all my baked and deep fried low carb treats.

This sauce is aptly named because it feels like a firecracker went off in your mouth.  There is a LOT of flavor here so it's not all about the heat, but if you love a sweet heat, this is your treat.


2 cloves of garlic; grated
1 teaspoon fresh ginger; grated
2 teaspoons crushed red pepper
1/2 cup Splenda Granular (or equivalent)

1 teaspoon molasses
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
3/4 cup sugar free ketchup
2 tablespoons El Yucateco Red Habanero Hot Sauce


In a small bowl, mix together ginger, garlic, sweetener, molasses, apple cider vinegar, sf ketchup, and hot sauce. 

Whisk well.

Pour into a small sauce pan on low heat. 

Cook for 5 to 7 minutes stirring frequently.

Remove sauce from heat and pour into heat safe bowl. 

Add crushed red pepper to sauce.

"Keep Pounding, Panthers!"

Cook's Note:

The tiny amount of molasses gives the Splenda a "brown sugar" taste

I could eat this stuff by the gallon so you may want to multiply the recipe for a large group.

Use it for coating or dipping sauce for cheese, meatballs, wings, ANYTHING you want to spice up!